If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.
I cant tell you how many times I’ve wished that I could fast forward to see how things play out for me. I don’t think it’s unusual to want to see into the future, especially at my age. In just a few months I’ll have graduated college – my entire adult life so far has been spent working hard to prepare myself for this time. In the next few months, the pressure will be on to secure my first real job (with benefits! And 401k plan…), an apartment with normal roommates, etc.
There have been many times already this 2015 that I’ve begged the universe to give me some sort of sign – where will I be four months from now? Will all of this hard work have been worth it? Will I get a job? Will my douche lord crush finally grow a pair and ask me out? Will I be rich and famous? And happy?
If I could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in my life, from cover to cover, would I? Of course it would be tempting. I would definitely pick the book up and give it a good smell. However, despite the obvious benefits of knowing whether or not things will play out the way I want them to, I’d probably put the book down. And burn it.
Yes, I have developed a good case of anxiety and an assortment of other emotional and physical issues as a result of the bucket-loads of stress I’ve been under trying to set up my life the past few years. Looking forward, the next few months will probably be even worse. And yes, I wake up most days still tired, wishing for more sleep and day-to-day stability. But if I knew the way things would turn out, life would be no fun at all. Is there any greater joy in life than working hard and achieving something we weren’t 100% sure we’d achieve in the first place?
We are all guilty of wanting the things that we cannot have. I want the clothes I can’t afford, the boys that run away from me, the glamorous life of the actresses and editors of Vogue that are literally and figuratively miles away from me. But a game of cat and mouse is no fun without a mouse – just knowing that opportunity is out there, even if I’m not sure I’ll ever touch it, is what gets me up every morning. And every once in a while we all touch the opportunity, and there is nothing more satisfying than that feeling – accomplishing something despite the massive orb of doom that is our planet and life/people/negativity that reside on it.
There’s nothing like the unpredictable promise of a new day.