I Wrote Our Ending Before We Even Began

I wrote our ending before we even began.
I broke my own Heart, the fragments echoing in the sanctum of walls I had raised.
Without a word from your lips I heard all the excuses and all the lines.
I saw the end of the tunnel from the entrance, so I saved myself the distance.

I lean against the restraints, begging to reach out. But I have pulled these chains tight. Like Odysseus to the siren’s call, I lashed myself to the mast of this ship, bound for limbo.
This storm rages, but I do not move.

There may be an ocean already between, but I have made it far vaster and even greater.

Oh how I wish I could toss away these sheets we hide behind, turn them into the sails and let the gale force of doubt and fear carry me across the seas to you.

But I had made it easy for us to turn away.

I saw a limit.
So I dashed away the time.
I watched from behind and from afar, full of fear.
Coldly, bluntly, I list the reasons of why could never be. I create the odds, create the figures and add the facts.

But in seeing that end, I found myself in the middle of this story.
The ending I made…
The ending I believed…
It became the only exit.
I came prepared. And yet I still splintered.

Through a blurry crystal ball, I claimed to see the answer.

I kept my hands behind my back and lost the chance to hold yours.

I kept my cards to my chest and covered up my heart peeking out.

I closed one eye to stop me falling totally for you at first sight.

I saw an end, so I wrote us that way.