Thanks to our childhood fairytales like Cinderella, majority of girls (and some men) are prone to believing that one can only love once. Your prince charming rides up on his white horse, sweeps you off your feet, and that’s that. We watch these romantic movies where guy meets girl, guy gets girl, and they live happily ever after.
Well, I’m here to break the news- that is a bunch of bullshit. Now hear me out, I’m not being cynical (only a little), I am simply being realistic. After my last break up I thought, well that’s it. My one and done. I’m never going to fall in love, and I’m never going to meet ‘the one’. At twenty-one these were the thoughts twisting and turning in my head. How ridiculous!
You know what movies are my favorite? The ones when the relationship doesn’t work out in the end, the two people realize they aren’t right for each other, or they find different significant others. That is real. Falling in love with more than one person in your life time is real, and more than okay. Life shifts us in crazy directions.
The person that you fall for when you’re fifteen is not necessarily ‘the one’, but there are so many lessons that you can take away from each relationship. The one that didn’t work out will be there to remind you of what you don’t want, and you’ll be that much better of a person for knowing that. Just because one relationship did not end in marriage and kids, does not mean that you won’t find that in someone else-and probably someone better for you.
We all want a relationship like Allie and Noah from the Notebook, but maybe it takes falling in and out of love three to five times before we find that unwavering and timeless love. In the meantime, it is also perfectly normal to be single. Focusing on yourself, and truly finding who you are may need to come before love.
The social ‘norms’ of needing to always find or be with someone is ludicrous. Maybe you’re too in love with yourself and your cat or dog right now to find time to meet ‘the one’, and that my friends is okay.
However, if you’re one of the singles out there swiping left or right on Tinder, desperate to find your knight in shining armor-please give it a rest. You’re probably not going to find the love of your life when you’re desperately seeking him or her out. There’s no rule that says you cannot be single, especially in your 20’s. Enjoy the time you have to find and love yourself first.
Jumping into a relationship just to say you finally have a girlfriend or boyfriend is a set up for disaster. Listen to that saying about finding the right one when you’re not even looking, and don’t settle for second best. There is someone out there for everyone. It may take that one disaster relationship for you to meet your ‘Noah’ or ‘Allie’. But don’t give up, don’t settle, and most certainly don’t shame yourself for leading that single life.