You Tricked Me Into Loving You, But I’ll Never Be Fooled Again

▲ r n o
▲ r n o

I met you one year ago and everything changed. My life hasn’t been the same since you. I lost something. You walked in every so strategically and undid things I didn’t know could be undone.

Your tattoos gave away your insecurity and endeared me to you. Your swagger and smile shouted for my attention and stole my ability to reason like an intelligent, careful person.

And you tricked me, gave me an onion instead of an apple.

So this is to tell you what I know now and I hope you do too one day.

It doesn’t strip you naked with useless words and flashy eyes; it doesn’t say anything at all.

It doesn’t tiptoe into your life with solutions and a wrench; it doesn’t fix anything. It teaches you how to put your broken bits back together.

It doesn’t drop its heavy rucksack haphazardly onto your floor or leave its filthy laundry strewn about. It doesn’t walk through your life with dirty feet.

One day you might know that your $8 designer coffee is half froth and holds the same high and crashing low as the cheap instant. When it’s done all you’re left with is an empty paper cup. People know this.

You, who carefully designs his image, feigns intimacy and collects fake friendships like stamps might know one day that you affect everyone you touch in a way you don’t understand. You consume people. The lies you tell transgress mere words. You will become them and one day you won’t know who you are.

The car you drive means nothing. Your beard does not hide you, nor does it expose any version of yourself beyond a made-up material one. Your money impresses you alone and buys you only the false company of others and tickets to exotic places where you don’t ever have to be your real self.

Maybe you will find out that true affection does not act upon another person, it includes the other person.

I just can’t do your type anymore.

I tell you this because after knowing you for one year I am sorry for you and scared for what any possible son of mine could become.

But I’m glad I met you. I’m grateful that you snuck in through the side door of my life and taught me things I never wished to learn. I would rather go through life a knowing fool than like you, safely ignorant. TC mark

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