It’s no secret that dating in this day in age…well to put it lightly, completely 110% SUCKS. Dating as a 20-something has never been easy, even when our parents were younger. They didn’t have the luxury of social media or cell phones, or internet to help them “cyber stalk,” “ghost,” or check where the person they’re interested in was LITERALLY 24/7. We tend to dwell on the fact that when were being ignored, we have no idea why even though we can clearly see they’re active online and they’re publicly engaging with other people, but not us. Imagine being in our parents shoes…they didn’t have any of those luxuries. Even if they wanted to, they could potentially get ghosted by a potential partner without ever have an inkling of a clue. They had to sit by a telephone and wait for them to call, or physically show up and see the person out in public, and face to face confront them. But, even after every letdown, heartbreak, or hurt that came their way, they never gave up on love. And most of them did find it.
Now all that being said, there’s one major question that remains: why are we as a generation so content with giving up on love?
You hear it from people all the time, whether it be our friends, family, or people you don’t even know. “Relationships suck.” “Dating is just a waste of time at this point.” “I’m never going to find someone like my ex.” “F**k him/her I’m done.” “I’m focusing on ME.”
Focusing on you is a great thing to do. Being selfish and putting yourself first isn’t a luxury it’s a necessity. But why did we as a generation become so obsessed with putting our own feelings first, bottling them up, and becoming so cold?
Granted, our generation has grown up with a lot of bad things happening. We’re the generation that has taken social media by the balls, and made it a part of our daily lives. We’re the generation that has lived through more than 10 mass school shootings, 9/11, more than a decade long war, an economic downturn, and racial/social injustices, yet we’re still standing up to make a change.
Why don’t we take that drive we have to make a change on public issues, and bring that to our own personal lives, and stop giving up so damn easy on ourselves and potential relationships?
Keep in mind, I’ve been single for four years as of this coming June. I haven’t had a serious relationship since I was 18 years old. Since then, I’ve been on countless dates, had countless hookups (as many 20-somethings do, because college-duh), gotten my heart taken out and stomped on over and over again, countless bouts with depression, and settled on guys that quite frankly- were total pieces of shit who didn’t deserve an ounce of my time. I’ve spent days, weeks, and months, crying and wondering why things haven’t worked out for me. But, I never once gave up.
Yeah, I’ll be the first to admit, I am definitely guilty of saying things like “Relationships suck.” “Dating is just a waste of time at this point.” “I’m never going to find someone like my ex.” “F**k him/her I’m done.” “I’m focusing on ME.’” But, yet again, I NEVER once gave up, and I’m still here, every single day, trying to find the one I’m supposed to be with.
A friend of mine once told me that “Relationships and dating are too much work. It’s not worth my time anymore.” After he went through a really bad breakup. I asked him if he would give up on an internship for his passion in videographing if it got too hard and was too much work. “No. Never.” He said. When I asked him why, he said “Because it’s what I love to do, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make the dream happen.” I asked him then why not do the same when it comes to your love life? He didn’t have an answer.
The point I’m trying to make here is, if you’re in a relationship/dating hell hole like I am, don’t give up. We as a generation are known to stand up for what we want and believe in, and we damn sure fight like hell to get it.
Let’s take that same passion, drive, and motivation we have for change and apply it to our own dating lives! Relationships and dating take work, and nobody ever said finding love was going to be easy. We need to stop making excuses and stop being lazy and put our bravest faces on, and keep on moving forward.
Just because you get dumped by someone or you get ghosted by another one, doesn’t mean you give up. As cliche as it is, a quote I’ve been applying to my own life fairly often as of recent is, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” Every time you fall from a fling, pick yourself back up, and keep moving forward. You never know, the best things happen when we least expect them.