Have you ever felt as though everything was perfect? Have you ever felt that you FINALLY had everything together? You had your goals, hope, and your detailed plan all recorded neatly in your Papyrus notebook with your fine tip sharpie marker.
You finally felt confident in your future, confident in what you were pursuing, and secure with how you were planning to pursue it. You firmly believed that if you followed the plan, got this degree and that job, finished this internship and started that class, then everything would finally work out. It’s a great feeling. You feel in control. You feel like you’ve got this. You feel excitement about what’s to come.
It’s all working out. Or at least…it was.
But then suddenly, after all of this certainty, after the reassurance and the gleeful hope, you were knocked down. Suddenly and forcefully, you were thrown back to square one…square negative one, even. Did your plans become completely derailed, and nothing ended up working out as you had hoped? Did you change your mind and learn that your “dreams” maybe weren’t your dreams after all? That this wasn’t right for you?
If this is you, I have a feeling you may be completely overwhelmed – especially if this was recent. I bet you’re on the brink of a break down. Everything “falling apart” (as it feels) has a tendency to bring in the floodwaters of anxiety. Because, let’s face it.
It’s terrifying to feel like your grasp on life is suddenly broken.
It’s overwhelming to feel like you don’t know what to do with yourself, or where to go next.
So many, and so few, options, simultaneously. You may have been banking on this plan for years. You may have literally been certain that this was for you. Be it med school or law school, be it grad school…college…your career hopes … no matter what, it’s anxiety provoking to feel like you having nothing steady set for you, no concrete limits or boundaries, no clear expectations for yourself. You may feel as though you failed, and as though now you aren’t good enough. You aren’t smart enough, or your best just isn’t enough. You aren’t enough. You may even feel as though now nothing will work out.
If this is you, try not to let your mind wander down this path. Break these thoughts immediately as they appear, as they are nonsense. Try not to think of yourself as a failure, because you are not. Maybe you quit something. So what? You learned it wasn’t for you. Maybe you didn’t get into the school of your dreams… or any of your top school choices for that matter. You know what? Maybe this means that these schools weren’t right for you. Maybe this means that something that suits you better is just around the corner.
It’s only human that sometimes suddenly your track is completely derailed,
and your perfectly diagrammed plan blows away in the wind. You are shocked, and you are heartbroken. But most often, unfortunately, you may be disappointed in yourself. Disappointed that you couldn’t do the things you’d hoped, that you couldn’t fulfill the expectations you set for yourself.
It’s only human that sometimes your plans don’t work out as expected, your dreams don’t come true as you’d hoped. And automatically instead of thinking that things went wrong, you will think that YOU failed. That you are the problem, that you are worthless…useless.
Sometimes after we are knocked down, we stay on the ground for a little while, and we internalize everything. We resort to self-doubt and blame, and struggle to see the positives that may be in the works. We start to drown in self-pity. But you don’t have to do this.
You don’t have to stay on the ground if you don’t want to.
You see, you are so much stronger than this. You are still the same person who had the plan, who had the goals. You haven’t changed in any way, and it’s time that you start to understand this. Your value is still intact, no matter what your circumstances are. No matter how many times life crushes you, you will still keep your inner spark; your inner value.
No matter how many times you feel as though you are not good enough, the universe will continue to challenge your beliefs. The universe will continue to support you, to strengthen you, for once you can believe in your inherent value, you will be on the start of your most beautiful journey.
So never ever allow yourself to feel like a failure, to feel like you are weak, or to feel like you aren’t needed here. Just because you may not be where you expected to be at this point doesn’t mean that you are any less. You were born as an irreplaceable gem; there is no one else with the same thoughts, the same soul, or the same heart that you have to offer to this world.
Don’t think for one second that you are not needed just as you are. No matter what you are doing or how you are living, your “you-ness” is more powerful than your circumstances. So, things didn’t go as planned. So what?
Your value is inherent with in you; and does not alter due to your circumstances.
It does not alter based on where you are in life, or at what part of your journey you are on. Your value doesn’t diminish based on the times you get knocked down or on the times you feel insecure. Your value does not diminish even when you are faced with your greatest obstacles, or battling your own personal anxieties and fears. Your value does not diminish based on your career, your resume, or your heartbreaks.
Your value doesn’t change based on the people you surround yourself with, or their thoughts about you. Your value doesn’t changed base on how you dress, or what you do on the weekend. Your value stays with you, through all circumstances of life. You have an inner being, an inner strength, an inner value, that is unique to you, and this value is inherent within you. Your circumstances do not affect it.
So brush yourself off and stand back up. Steal back your confidence. Rise up even stronger.
Now get out your pen and start sketching a new map.