7 Situations That’ll Make You Realize You Might Be Accidentally Growing Up

The Heat
The Heat

1. Friday Night – When you’re in college, Friday night is second only to Thursday night. In honor of National Mean Girls Day, I can safely say that not going out on Friday in college was social suicide. But somewhere between having to figure out expense reports and writing “client ready” recommendations, Friday nights get lost.

I LOVE staying in on Friday nights. Every Friday, my boyfriend and I make pizza, rent a new movie, and are usually asleep by 9:45. We call it ‘Pizza Friday.’ Giving it a name makes me feel like it’s a lot cooler than what it really is … getting older.

2. College bars – This can be a tough pill to swallow. When you are in college, there is nothing better than that bar. The floors are sticky. The bouncer doesn’t care that your ID says that you are 36. Your best friend is sleeping with the bartender. The music is loud and they clear out all seating after 10 PM because duh. You go there the same night every week – probably Tuesday or Wednesday because that’s acceptable.

A word of advice…don’t go back to that bar after graduation. Last month, I did … it was just SO LOUD. The bartender looked like he was half my age. In the 5 minutes that I waited in line for the bathroom, I saw one person throw up and two people crying. Before Eddie Money could even ask, I was ready to go home.

3. Looking for Role Models – When you are in college, positive role models are very much outnumbered by wildly terrible ones. Then one day you wake up and everyone has a real job and a dog and a life and no one wants to buy a bottle of Andre after Chemistry and eat Burger King. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by people who seem to have their lives together and for once, it doesn’t make you want to roll your eyes. It’s kind of a relief and it makes you want to do better.

Now, I get off the phone with my supervisor and it’s totally bananas how good she is at her job. She has an answer for literally everything and is like … way cooler than my friend in college who could take shots while doing a handstand.

4. Going to Class – My freshman year of college, an older and definitely-not-wiser senior told me that college was a good way to show yourself that you can accomplish something by doing next to nothing. While I put more than my fair share of effort into classes most days, if there was a day when I woke up feeling “a little sick” … I sat in bed for the rest of the day, ordered lunch and dinner online and watched 8 hours of The Office with my roommate.

My feelings towards grad school are literally the opposite. I was lucky enough to have my parents pay my undergraduate tuition. Thinking about the amount of money that my dad spent for me to sit in my bed hungover, watching The Office makes me physically sick. I just didn’t get it. NOW, when my grad school professor shows up ten minutes late for class, I have to fight back the urge to tell her that she kind of owes me $17.78, which I could definitely put into a piggy bank for my dad labeled “Sorry For My Ignorant Childhood Laziness.”

5. Sunday – I never thought the day would come when EVERY Sunday didn’t mean boozy brunch. In college, Sunday’s are for doing one of two things: 1. Nothing or 2. Brunch. There will always be a place in my heart for bottomless mimosas and eggs benedict, but recently I’ve noticed a slightly bigger place for finding the perfectly sized box at The Container Store and taking my dog running. This would be a totally foreign concept to my 20-year-old-self and her zero throw pillows.

6. Planning a Vacation – In college, vacation means that everyone you go to that bar with on Tuesday or Wednesday to drink and listen to 90’s throwback songs with will pack a bag, pay $500 and do the exact same thing for 5 nights on a beach. Except replace the vodka soda with rum and pineapple. #VacationCaloriesDontCount.

Now, I have 15 vacation days per year, so I’d better use them wisely. And by that, I mean without a week-long hangover sandwiched between sweaty strangers fighting for shots of some blue Mexican mystery drink at 10 in the morning. That being said, I’m getting on a flight to Cancun next week.

7. Buying Alcohol – I have just one thing to say about this … can ANYONE drink 99 Apples after the age of 22? TC mark

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