6 Steps To Get Over Him And Re-Discover Yourself

 Eli DeFaria
Eli DeFaria

Sometimes you feel as if you’ll never get over him, getting over you. Have you experienced being ghosted – one day everything seems okay, the next, it seems as if he fell off the edge of a cliff? Did he break up with you and fed you the line “It’s not you, It’s me”? Was it a mutual break up? Were you cheated on? Or did you break up with him for the sake of your peace and sanity?

For some reason or another, the relationship had to end. So here are 6 steps to get over him and re-discover the amazing person that is you.

1. Feel the pain. Cry.

At one point, he made you feel special, sexy and beautiful. He loved you and made you feel good about yourself. It was good while it lasted. So mourn the relationship that ended. Feel the pain. Listen to a break up playlist. Let all the anger and frustration out.

2. Talk to a trusted friend, family member or even a psychiatrist/life coach.

Our mental and emotional health are important. After feeling your pain and experiencing solitude, share your anguish and insecurity to a trusted person. Sometimes you don’t need someone to tell you how to fix things or what you should have done. Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on who will listen to your pain. Someone who will distract you and make you smile and laugh again.

3. Let it go.

Put away the memories. Return the things he gave you or throw them away. Don’t go after him. Remove him from your contacts and make a clean break. You had to let him go because he didn’t deserve you. Write a letter to say goodbye and bury it. These are the love letters that are never sent. Or you may put your love letter in a balloon and burst the balloon. Seeing a visual manifestation of letting go will enable you to start the process of letting go.

4. Pursue your passion.

Go for positive distraction. What is something you enjoyed doing but had to put on hold because you were in a relationship? Did you want to take a dance class but opt not to because your ex didn’t like to dance? Was there a place you wanted to see but never got around to? Go on your own adventure. Get lost in a new place but don’t lose yourself. Going to another place will give you a fresher perspective and renew your spirit.

5. Know and love yourself.

Me before you. Remember that amazing person before your ex? She was a cool chic. She had goals and her happiness was not dependent on another person. Re-discover “me before you” so that you can find “me after you”. Resolve to be better. Understand what went wrong in the relationship and learn from it. Yes you’re amazing but maybe you need to avoid losers and douchebags altogether?

6. Have faith in God.

Accept that it was good while it lasted. It didn’t last because you were not meant for each other. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s him, or both of you. You have to let go now for your sanity and for your future. Find your happiness in yourself and in God. Not in another person or material things. Create a better version of yourself. St. Augustine’s words resonate, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in you.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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