1. The Girl/Guy We All Want To Be
The picture perfect girl/guy with flawless hair and tan skin who reblogs pictures of Starbucks, pastel hair colors we all wish we could pull off, stunning models in chic outfits that could never be worn in real life/cost more than my house, and photos of beautiful cities and exotic adventure locations. See also: cute kitten pictures.
2. The Art Fanatic
Whether it be a photographer, musician, painter, or master of any other fine craft, the artist uses tumblr to share their creations with the world while simultaneously searching for muses to inspire their next great masterpiece. They also partake in discussions with other artists to revel in the beauty of their craft that we peasants will never understand on their deep cosmic level.
3. The Groupie (aka “fangirls”)
BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS AND MORE GIFSETS OF BANDS. This user employs the platform to connect with fellow members of their fandom who will be able to fully appreciate the way that one band member suggestively played his guitar while another band member did another cute thing.
4. The Teenage Rebel
This misunderstood young adult spends their days reblogging punk rock lyrics like it’s their job. They also foray into images of tattoos and piercings, kids in leather jackets, and vague, non-sensical, Jaden-Smith-like expressions spray painted across urban landscapes. They find solace in knowing that there are others just like them out there because “GOD MOM NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME, THIS IS NOT JUST A PHASE.”
5. The “This Is Why We Cant Use This App In Public”
Sex. That’s basically what their blog is. Pictures and gifs of gay sex, straight sex, kissing, and pretty much anything else you can think of that involves 2 humans (..or more). They pretty much just blog porn. And it could pop up on your dash any time. More power to ya.
6. The “Science Side of Tumblr”
Really you just need to use the app for this one. Basically they’re the smart ones who occasionally pop in to offer their insights and knowledge on a post. Ravenclaw, one could say. Other times they’re just really sassy and not at all helpful.
7. The Witty Ones
These people are the life and soul of the internet. They always have something funny and snarky to add to a post. They are prepared with a plethora of memes and reaction gifs for all occasions. These are also the people responsible for supplementing my vocabulary with a handful of words and phrases that are not understood in real life except for with other tumblr users.
8. The Cry For Help
Just like with any other social media platform, amidst all the chaos, there are people who genuinely need help. They reach out to find the support they so desperately need from friends across the world. And a lot of times, they do find it. If you can sort through all the photosets of the New York City skyline, and Supernatural memes, you’ll find that every single one of these types of users is a real person, and most of them are good, nice people, willing to offer a word of encouragement to someone that never have, or ever will, encounter in real life.