40 Real People Confess The Fucked Up Shit They’ve NEVER Told A Soul…Until Now

Modified from iowawildflower
Modified from iowawildflower

For more real confessions, check out R/Confession

1.

I am a 27/F and I masturbate regularly while fantasizing about having sex with my parents. The thought of eating my Mom’s pussy or sucking my dad’s dick gets me so hot. But I don’t think I could do it in real life.

2.

I still think about the time I did lines off my boyfriend’s dick. We haven’t been together in several years, but at the time we were post original breakup, still emotionally involved, across-state-lines booty calls. We met at a hotel room one night, just for fun. I wore lingerie, he tied me up, and I did coke off his boner before I blew him.

I don’t even like cocaine, but I liked it that night.

3.

I had sex with two Bangkok hookers, without a condom. I came inside one of them while the other was sucking my balls. This was the greatest sexual experience of my life, and I regret nothing.

4.

I like to lick toilet seats in women’s public bathrooms. If I see a toilet seat that looks like its pretty clean has no stains on it, I’ll give it a quick lick. Oh and only in women’s bathrooms. I try to only do it when I know it will be empty or if Im worried about getting caught, I have the excuse that Ill just say I thought it was a mens bathroom.

Only reason I do it is because it gets me off, when I get home I masturbate to the thought, knowing the types of different women that have sat on there. I know its a filthy habit, but I cant really get sick from it or anything, so Im not too worried.

5.

Me and my ex-girlfriends mom hooked up two days after we broke up. I was going to get some stuff I left there and her mum made a pass at me so i went with it — it’s happened 6 or 7 times now and I think I may like her more then i ever like her daughter, her mum is 55 and I’m 19 btw.

6.

I had sex with my friends 17yr old brother. But wait. There’s more. Let me start off by saying I’m only 20 and the age of consent is 16 in my state. But he was a very close friends younger brother, I have always been attracted to him. My friend (Neil) and his girlfriend wanted to go camping and invited me along, they told me I would share a tent with the brother (lets call him Carl) Not a problem, I thought I could control myself.

Well, they didn’t tell me that another friend of ours (Gail) would be sharing the tent with us. Okay, that helps with the urge to bone Carl. Well, it was kind of cold, so I convinced Carl to spoon up behind me. Gail had fell asleep. Carl got a little touchy, I got a little touchy, it lead to me riding him into the ground with Gail asleep not 3ft from us. She’s asleep, so no biggie right? Gail admitted to me the next morning that she wasn’t asleep and had masturbated to us having sex. Nobody has told Neil that I slept with his brother.

7.

I more than likely just killed someone. I was driving along the freeway and someone tried to commit suicide on my car. Fairly long story but I am not at fault and he was rushed to the hospital with a very minimal chance of life. Tonight I killed someone.

8.

I’m in a longterm sexual relationship with my brother. We’ve been sexually active with one another for nearly ten years (he’s my fraternal twin), and although we’ve lived together throughout that period, for whatever reason no one has ever seemed to find anything strange about the fact, or that neither of us is interested in dating other people.

Lately I know he’s been playing with the idea of moving to the other side of the state, which would actually be far away from everyone we know. We could actually make a new start, and introduce ourselves to people as bf/gf, as opposed to brother and sister, and needing to be so cautious about what we do in public.

Which would be… amazing. But then both of us would need to come up with fake stories and maintain a different identity, so no one would suspect? I don’t know. It’s both exciting and terrifying.

9.

I’m 37. I have been married for 16 years, we have three kids. My wife is the most fake, two-faced person I have ever met. She is constantly gossiping about people with friends, and then about those friends once they’re not around.

The thing that pisses me off the most about her is how she treats our kids. She will never fix meals (even though I work in a successful career and support the family). Also, she’s really short with them and just … mean. She’ll call them names, and every time she interacts with them, there is this edge in her voice. I’m pretty sure all my kids have a totally fucked up idea of what a mom should be at this point.

Every time I try and talk to her about anything I’m unhappy with she gets super defensive and goes into bitch mode.

I am a very patient person, but after 16 years of dealing with this I have had enough. I’ve tried keeping it together for the kids because I know she would be an even worse mom on her own.

I can’t even stand being around her anymore. She’s lucky I have kids with her, or I’d be gone tomorrow.

10.

I hate being married! My husband is a whinny asshole! Everyone looks in from the outside, and sees a perfect couple. We are the kind of couple, that other couples wish to be like. I’m told how lucky I am, and etc. I look so happy, and so in love! In reality, I’m so sick of being married! All my husband does is complain, pop pills, and nag. He is emotionless unless he’s fucked on some kind of pain pill that makes him feel good, and I’m sick of it! I have been looking on craigslist for a roommate. It’s a hard choice, because I do love him I just don’t want to be with him anyone.

11.

Disgusted in myself. I gave oral to my boss for a promotion. Told my boyfriend and he’s breaking up with me. Sad part is, boss quit, so nothing came out of it. He moved back to his home country of Egypt to retire, so nothing I can do about it, not that I would even want to do something about it, I don’t want the added stress. There goes 4 years relationship down the drain.

12.

My roommate had sex last night with her boyfriend, thinking I was asleep. I was awake, and watching. I felt perverted about it, but I couldn’t help but watch. it wasn’t even a sexual thing for me. I just thought it was interesting, I guess…

13.

I hate everyone for having love / sex lives. My friends grow distant as I become less of a priority, I see people enjoying that special kind of relationship around me, for all my life, and my inability to procure one has created a very deep resentment, and I hate feeling that way.

14.

I’m a well known American film actor and I’m a closeted homosexual. I will not reveal who I’ve worked with or what I’ve starred in obviously, as I don’t want to be identified. I love my career, and I know I would lose my leading man status if I ever came out. I feel terribly guilty about many different things.

First of all, I feel like I’m misleading my fans. I know a lot of women watch my movies to watch me, and part of that is fantasy, and I feel like it’s all based on a lie. They do a lot market analysis in Hollywood. I get told about which demographics I do well with, and I feel like I’m misleading so many people, or letting them down.

I am dating another well known personality, and we’ve been publicly together for a while now. I know she expects to get married, the press expect us to get married, but of course this would be a great disservice to her. Truth be told I think she knows. She is a wonderful woman and a wonderful person and I don’t deserve someone as loving and trusting in my life, and I truly do love her, but I’m not in love with her, and sex with her, despite her beauty, is difficult for me.

I also feel terribly guilty because I know there are so many gay kids out there and I feel like by not coming out, and not providing that public display of being gay and being successful I’m letting them down. Public figures like Ellen DeGeneres coming out when I was younger made a huge difference to me, and I feel like I should be paying it forward, but I’m too afraid of my whole life being ruined.

I’ve only told a few people. I’ve been with two men since my career has started. Both have been, thankfully, very discrete. My two best friends from before I became mainstream know, and have been supportive. I’ve told two gay actors who have come out because I trusted they would keep it to themselves, having been in the same position. They were comforting and told me to do what I needed to do, but it didn’t assuage my guilt at all. I tested the water with my agent, who basically told me “Faggots don’t make it in this town,” and then went on to basically explain that he would never represent a gay man because the effort versus the money just makes it not worth it to him. It frankly terrifies me. I just wanted to get it out there.

15.

My gay friend ruined BJs for me. I’m not gay but have had a gay friend. He’s a cool guy. Met him through a job and didn’t realize he was gay until much later. (He doesn’t tell anyone unless they ask and he looks/acts like a reg/scruffy guy) Anyway, one night, drinks, weed, no gf for 4 months my mind goes: me crazy horny+him gay=free BJ. I suggest it.
He’s down and I trust him not to tell people. BEST BJ OF MY LIFE. Does things no girl has ever done better than any girl ever has. Got me addicted to having my ass licked. Fast-forward 2 years later he’s still a good guy and awesome friend, no weirdness. I’ve dated, picked girls up @ bars not in a sex drought anymore but can’t give up the BJs. If he was a chick, I’d marry him.

16.

I lost my virginity to an escort last night. I’m 25 years old (turning 26 in September) and I just had sex with a woman for the first time last night. Loneliness is not an issue. I decided it was something I had to try before I get old so for two weeks I’ve been searching for the right escort. I’m not going to give any details but after last night I believe I made a right choice. Done lots of things I never did before. I would definitely go to her again but not until at least two months because I don’t want to make it an expensive habit.

All I can say is that it’s pretty damn easy to lose your virginity and it’s not that much of an accomplishment compared to getting a degree or travelling to new places. I have much more respect for other virgins who have more self control than I do.

17.

The other day, I was raking leaves in my backyard when I noticed that one of our trees had a perfectly sized hole for my penis. I knew that if I went in without any protection I would hurt myself, so I went and got a condom out of my room.

I went back into my backyard (my parents weren’t home at the time) and put the condom on my penis. I started to stick it in the hole a few times to get a feel for it, and it only hurt a little bit. So I proceeded to do this until my condom fell off.

The only problem is that it fell off during the point of no return and I couldn’t help but keep going.

So long story short, my dick is very scraped up from this and I’m not sure what to do. It’s been bleeding for a couple of days now. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone, but it hurts so much I can barely even walk because it rubs against my pants.

18.

I was in the bathroom at the library trying to poop. I’ve been sick lately so my bowel movements have been really irregular. My stomach was killing me but I just couldn’t get anything out. (It’s about to get really bad) Id heard you can sometimes get yourself going if you massage the area or pull something out. (Gross I know) So I tried that and sure enough I felt like I could pull something out.

When I did, it got stuck to my hand and I basically freaked out. I tried to get it off my hand, but I spazzed and flicked the poop off my hand, into the air and over into the stall next to me :( Worst part, a woman was in the stall. I didn’t wait around to find out what happened next because I ran out the door. I really hope she didn’t notice, but I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t notice poop falling into their stall :(

19.

I slept with my brother on New Years Eve.

We were drinking with our mutual friends at a new years party. Everyone was kind of off doing their own thing. My brother was sitting on a bed and I say down next to him. I (innocently) had my hand on his knew/thigh as we were talking and before I knew it, we were groping each other and kissing like crazy. We were both really drunk as I said before. We haven’t spoken since this happened, only exchanged odd glances at each other. I can only hope that I don’t get pregnant seeing how we didn’t have any protection.

20.

I regularly hire an escort to pose as my girlfriend.

Four years ago, I hired an escort off Craigslist to accompany me at a wedding. I’m such a fucking introverted loser that there is a 0% chance of me securing a date normally, so I resorted to hiring a girl named “Sandy” to spend a day with me with the promise she would be well fed and would not have to fuck me. I initially thought I’d let some people in on it as a joke, but I was worried it’d reach the wrong people, so Sandy became my girlfriend for the night.

Because I’m still a fucking loser, Sandy has become a staple in my life since then. I see her every now and then for corporate functions, parties, et cetera. She’s not my “girlfriend” anymore but “female friend” – AKA “fuck buddy” I don’t fuck. That’s the perception. I actually know her real name now, have been to her house and we occasionally text each other funny pictures. She likes playing with my macaw Hotdog and is the person who taught him how to say “Woof! I’m a dog!”

We even buy each other birthday gifts, too.

I would probably have sex with Sandy, but yes, if you correctly absorbed the above paragraph, I am friendzoned by a hooker.

Luckily for her she cleaned her life up and is some kind of makeup artist for infomercials, but I still enjoy the privilege of paying her $200 to go out to events with me. That’s $300 cheaper than it used to be.

I have not had sex with anyone since meeting Sandy and spend my days ironing shirts, cleaning and playing with my bird. I have no life at all. Fuck everything. I’m living some kind of lie and it has cost me around $7,000.

21.

I fuck Watermelons. It’s pretty sick I know. I buy watermelons, cut holes in them, and fuck them. Im ashamed and I think my girlfriend might find out.

22.

I lied about my work history, experience, and degrees to land my job. I never graduated college. In fact, I barely went to a community college before dropping out. Before working for the company I do now, I never had a job higher than 3rd key manager for retail stores.

I was unemployed and really starting to stress out about finding a job before getting evicted. So one night, in a bout of depression, I made up a fake resume. I gave myself awesome jobs, gave myself a degree from a decent college. Made up some references. Basically made the perfect degree. I then submitted it to what was a dream job for than.

I got an interview. At this point I was thinking it would be a great story to tell me buddies after bombing the interview. But I didn’t. It went perfectly. I’m telling you that I could have done that interview 1000 different times and it would have never come off better. I was simply on fire that day and they ended up offering me the job.

So I accepted. It was for a salary that was almost 3 times I had ever made in my life. I figured at this point what was the worst that could happen? Maybe I’ll get a week or two of paychecks before firing me. But that didn’t happen.

I’ve been promoted 4 times since then, after starting off making around $60,000 a year (almost $40,000 a year more then I ever made before) I now make over six figures a year. Before this job I never had a job outside of retail. I turned in the resume more as a joke then anything else and it kept snowballing.

23.

My wife and I married in the spring of 2010 and we have a great marriage on the surface, however that is not the case. My wife cheated on me a little after a year of marriage but we got through it. Then it happened again and I asked her to leave our home and she temporarily moved back in with her father.

My wife would try to contact me and try to work things out but I refused to answer. She texted me one day saying she needed to come by the house to get her clothes and I finally responded and told her I would leave her stuff outside and she could come pick it up so I wouldn’t have to see her. She disagreed because we don’t live in the best neighborhood and it’s likely her stuff could get stolen. She told me her father would come by to pick her clothes up and I agreed.

My wife’s father is openly gay. He and his wife divorced when my wife was a child because of it. My wife’s mother left and was never heard from again. When my father in law came to pick up her clothes he also asked for her laptop which I had no idea where it was. He helped me search for it and once found it he left. The next day I got a text message from him saying he needed to get the laptops charger so I told him he could pick it up tomorrow. When he came over he seemed a little off to me. He asked me how I was doing and I told him the truth, that I was devastated and felt completely betrayed by his daughter. This was the first time I had ever discussed how I honestly felt about everything. I broke down and started crying.

Her father gave me a hug and I didn’t feel so lonely anymore. I don’t know why but I had the urge to kiss him. I don’t consider myself gay but for some reason I wanted to kiss a man, so I did. He seemed surprised but strangely, he didn’t pull away. We kissed for at least half an hour. For the first time in months I didn’t feel so alone. I knew he was hard and I knew I was too, one thing led to another and we had sex.

We have had sex 7 times since November 2012 and no one knows. I have legitimate feelings for him and he says he feels the same. My wife, who I am still legally married to, still lives with her father and has no idea. We haven’t divorced because she refuses to sign the papers and completly ignores it when i bring up the topic. She tells me she wants to be with me but I don’t feel the same anymore.

I just needed to finally rant and get this off my chest.

24.

A long time ago with my (now ex)boyfriend, we were having sex and I already had a bit of stomach ache. Anyhow I was on top and it felt really good and I guess I lost a bit of control? Anyhow I diarrhea’d a bit on him and it STUNK up the car (we were having car sex) and I tried to cover it up by blowing him so he wouldn’t see brown on himself when he got home.. We never talked about the stink or anything.. I don’t know if he knows, hopefully he just thinks I let one rip during sex but it was much too smelly for just a fart I think..

Disgusting, I know.

25.

I have shoplifted thousands of dollars of clothing and make-up. I am a 17 year old girl. I am a frequent shoplifter. Over the years, I have shoplifted thousands of dollars of cosmetics from Sephora and drugstores. I have even begun to shoplift clothing. Today I shoplifted 4 sweaters from J crew, 3 lipsticks from Sephora, and 3 pairs of underwear from Macy’s. It’s like a game, it gives me a rush. I look innocent and act polite, so nobody ever suspects me of being a lifter, and thus I have never gotten caught. But I know I can get caught very easily. I don’t feel guilty for it somehow. I know that I should, but I don’t. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

26.

I am deeply, hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t even exist. And to make it that much worse, he’s an animated character. I don’t know how it happened, it just snuck up on me, I guess. I have dreams about him all the time; it’s very bizarre. Being this way makes me feel like shit, though. It’s a weird thing to love an animated character, nobody does stupid, weird, shitty things like that. Fucking shit, I have no idea what to do.

27.

I am sexually attracted to animals. I have known that I am a zoophile since about 16. I have never engaged in bestiality because fortunately, a big part of me still knows this is wrong. I don’t need material to be sexually explicit, simply seeing images of various animals is enough to excite me. I often masturbate to videos of animals mating or pictures of their genitalia.

Don’t really know what to expect, maybe someone here knows if treatment is possible and where/how to seek it? I’m not really interested in therapy as I don’t think there’s any “talking through” this.

28.

I like to sleep in my own female ejaculate! Most nights I drink a lot of water before I go to bed, I then masturbate until I squirt on my bed, it usually takes around 3-4 squirts to cover most of the bed. I discovered I enjoyed this by accident around a year ago, I have never told anybody about this, because I feel it’s probably not normal.

29.

I killed a man and wasn’t charged. When I was 19 I was at a party, pretty pissed. I went outside to take a pee, and I heard crying and arguing. At first I thought it was a squabbling couple, however I drunkenly clued on that it was a pretty serious. I stumbled around the corner, behind a shed, to find a guy I didn’t know forcibly kissing a drunk crying girl, who I’d seen earlier that night. At first I just asked what was going on and he told me it was fine and to go. She asked me to help and they started arguing. I went to pull him off her and he punched me. We got into a punch on as the girl tried to break us apart. He punched me several times in the face and by this point I was drunk, delirious and furious. I went nuts. I pinned him down and hit him with a pot that was behind the shed too. He wriggled around and started foaming at the mouth, coughing up blood, I went into shock. She started screaming and shaking him. He fitted for about thirty seconds and then stopped. I felt numb, sick and sober. I started to freak and called for help. I ran inside. I don’t really remember the rest. The ambulance came and so did the police. He died three days later of extensive brain damage. I was charged with manslaughter but was acquitted on the grounds of self defence in 2012. Turns out the bloke was the girls boyfriend. I can justify what I did to myself but still I feel guilty. I don’t think I should be in jail, but I wish I had gone back inside that night

30.

I discovered my dad’s secret Facebook account.

I was just in my dad’s room helping him with his work on MS Word. We were halfway through and he said that he was going to go upstairs and get some refreshments.

He left and I stayed in the room and decided to open my Facebook. Turns out someone had already been logged in and had a weird name unknown to me (and a dp of a cartoon guy). Anyways being the little snoop I’ve always been, I clicked on the notifications and it redirected me to pictures to mainly African women – and I noticed that with this account, several comments were made on previous occasions about their bodies in sexual and lewd ways.

Feeling a bit sick, I checked the account information – and low and behold, this account was registered under my dad’s email. I was about to log out when this woman messaged the account speaking of my dad in a really up close and personal manner (read: sexting). I scrolled up to see the past history of their conversations and basically, my dad has been having cyber affairs with not just this woman, but with several. :'(

I physically felt sick and quickly shut the browser. He came back down and I just couldn’t look the same at him anymore. I don’t know what I should do. I haven’t told anyone – it is my fault for going through his private information and I feel really bad – ughhhh this sucks so much.

31.

I am leaving my girlfriend this week. My story is too long, so, here’s TL;DR: Girlfriend was raped and she’s now pregnant. She wants to keep it and believe that we could be great parents. I don’t believe her because we are just two poor students and I don’t want to make any sacrifice for someone else child. She doesn’t even want to report her rapist because her past drug problems could cause her to lose/share the custody and there’s no evidence to convict her rapist. I have no say in her decision to keep it, and I respect her right, but I have the right to walk away. Now my guilty is tearing me apart for choosing to leaving a person who I loved for 3 years in the worst possible situation.

32.

I work at an oil refinery. I get paid extra to dispose of waste in an estuary at night

36.

I would give anything to be straight. I can’t look into my future and see myself romantically happy. That is a painful thought to reckon with. I would be happier were I straight. People who deny this are blinded by a construct of pride. Sure, people find partners that suit them and live happy romantic lives, but it is always in spite of their sexuality.

37.

I jerked off for five hours and then passed out. I have an issue with jacking off, I do it about 3 times a day. Today, my parents went to go see some indie film that was playing in some theater a 2 hour drive away. I thought to myself “Cool, I can invite friends over smoke some weed, I have the whole house to myself.” People don’t reply to my text, I get the urge the beat off. I decide to go past my limit. I edge for about 5 hours maybe. I have over 20 videos on screen and am switching through the tabs. I start to feel light headed but continue going hard and strong. I soon pass out, I don’t fall asleep I black out. I wake up with this sock COVERED in my juices.

38.

I am a single 25 year old male and moved into my apartment about a year ago and now I am having regular sex with my 66 year old widow female neighbour.

I met her the same day I moved in, she was very friendly, welcoming me to the apartment block with drinks and sandwiches for myself and a friend helping me move my stuff.

She always said hello and we would stop to chat in the passing. I helped her move some furniture around and with some decorating she was attempting to do herself, then helped with some shelves, etc.

Eventually she invited me over for dinner and we ended the night in her bed and I now regularly go through to her apartment on a Tuesday and Thursday evening where she cooks for me and we have sex before I go back to my own apartment.

We have not really discussed what kind of a relationship this is although I know neither of us have told any one else and she always asks about any girls I have been with recently (always looking for those juicy details).

I’ve always had bit of thing for older women and she is the kinkiest woman I have ever been with. For now I am really enjoying life.

39.

I wish my son would die. I have three sons. My oldest Alex and youngest Cam are wonderful boys- sweet and smart and funny. They are such caring boys. I am proud to be their mother. They will be do good things in the world. I love them.

But then there is my son Ben*. He is fourteen and he terrifies me. I was raped one night jogging, trying to lose baby weight from my oldest son. The man was eventually caught, after he raped a dozen other women. I don’t personally believe in abortion, I used to be a proponent of nurture vs. nature, and we couldn’t be sure whether the baby was the rapists or my husband.

So I had the baby. And I loved him. I did nothing different. But the older he got the more I noticed that something wasn’t right. He never learned to play well with others smaller than him. Those bigger, like his brother, he was fine with. But if you put him with a smaller kid, he’d be unbearably cruel. Punishment only made him be subtle.

He still terrorizes his younger brother. He’s in therapy and has been diagnosed with an alphabet of symptoms, he started going when he was 7 and kept stealing lighters. Despite being bright, he does poorly in school- in elementary school his teacher cried and said that he tortured her. She was a new teacher and he was big eleven year old who taunted her and she thought but couldn’t prove ripped her posters and ruined other things. That was just the beginining. I’m constantly at the school for some behavioral problem. It’s always heresay and I’ve always told myself that kids can lie.. but now I’m getting called in because he’s become aggressive with girls. And I now what he will become. I met what he’ll become on a running trail.

He is broken and I don’t think anything can fix him. He’s so big, I’m now terrified to be left alone with him- because when he has a rage I can’t stop him.

He is going to do bad things. I created this monster and he is going to hurt other people. I won’t be able to stop him. I sometimes wish he’d die in a car wreck, before he hurts anyone else and while he’s still young enough where people will remember him fondly.

40.

I could have saved my bully’s life, but I let him die.

I grew up in a fairly small town and from elementary through high school I had the same bully that I will call D. D would always pick on me and beat me up when ever he got the chance. He, for what ever reason, just wanted to make my life hell.

During our junior year of high school we both got our drivers licensed around the same time and we both drove our cars down the same two lane county road to get home and every day D would try to race me, or swerve into my lane to get me to slam on my breaks or throw something at my car. He did this up through our Senior year of high school until he died.

It was 7 years ago today, we were both driving home from school and D was once again being an asshole and was trying to race me home. That day I decided to try to beat him and keep him from getting in front of me. We were approaching a sharp corner and I slowed down allowing him the chance to pass in front of me. At the same time another car with a drunk driver was coming the opposite way and lost control through the turn. He slammed into D’s car right in the driver’s side.

D lost control of his car and went down the embankment into a tree. I swerved to avoid the crash. I kept driving. I didn’t stop. I felt like he deserved it and he should die for all the torment he caused me.

D had suffered multiple injuries and internal bleeding. It wasn’t for another 30 minutes before another vehicle came along and stopped. It was my dad that stopped, a county sheriff.

He knew who it was when he stopped. He had delt with D’s dad a few times for being a drunk. He knew who D was and that D picked on me. He still tried to save D’s life. It was too little too late. D died in my dad’s arms. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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