You hesitate to make future plans with them.
They’re very similar for the signs that you’re heading for a layoff. Secret meetings that you’re not invited to. Excessive recriminations for minor infractions. Making sure that somebody else can take care of all of your official duties.
When spending time together feels like a chore, not a pleasant afternoon. Some time apart is normal and healthy. I’m specifically talking about a sense of dread that wasn’t present beforehand.
Your phone rings, it’s her, and you don’t want to answer.
From personal experience I would have to say when I find that I am unable to relax around my current partner. If I feel on edge because I’m nervous that we are going to get into an argument or I have to be on my best behavior to make you want to hang out with me then we are headed for a break up. I broke up with my last ex when I realized that my hands were shaking once I got in my car after hanging out.
There is a psychologist (John Gottman) who can apparently predict whether couples will stay together with an 80% accuracy, after having spent 5 minutes with them. He refers to the four signs as being the four horsemen of the apocalypse:
Criticism – Instead of complaining about an issue in your relationship, you instead criticise the other person and make it their failing/fault.
Defensiveness – You refuse to accept responsibility for your own issues, and say it’s the other person.
Stonewalling – 85% of the time, it’s the man that does this. It is turning away from an issue, and refusing to discuss it, contemplate it, or resolve it. Instead, you blank the other person and act as if you couldn’t care less what they say/do/feel.
Contempt – Abusing the other person through name-calling, sarcasm, and generally showing nothing but disgust for them. You have no interest in resolving the issues, you just want to hurt the other person. If you reach this stage, it is extremely unlikely that you will ever save your relationship.
Alternatively, she might be fucking another guy. Fucking Stacey.
TL;DR – There are 4 telltale signs to look out for, and you can fix them before they become too big of an issue if you look out for them.
When you aren’t on the same page with what you want out of the relationship.
You find yourself not bringing up that you have an SO so quickly into conversations with the opposite sex.
She stops asking about your life, stops with pet names, the sex stops or becomes uncomfortable for the other person, she says she has guards up suddenly, she’s acting weird because of x, y, or z, she can’t hold a conversation any longer, she doesn’t want to cuddle, kisses become pecks, she stops coming to you for kisses or pecks…
Joint Facebook accounts. We all know one.
“Me too” starts coming instead of “I love you too”.
When you look at him or her and think…s/he’s an asshole daily. Or you describe then to friends as an asshole. It’s time to go.
Sex becomes a chore.
I can only say for myself.
If you are cuddling with your SO and you are thinking “God, I wish I had stay in my place. I could do homework/watch tv/something else”.
I’ve been there. I’m happy that I ended this relationship.
“You always… “
“You never… “
When you’re spying on someone because you think they are cheating.
When making plans, you look forward most to those things you’ll do alone.
The Four Major Breakup Warning Signs: (1): Your partner starts distancing himself either physically or emotionally. (2): Your partner makes big changes to his daily routine. (3): You notice a change in the frequency of your arguments. (4): The level of physical intimacy has dropped to an all-time low.
When everything you want to do together turns into being more of a struggle than actual fun. You try to get him/her with you out to have dinner at a restaurant and are met with a “sigh”? You want to go catch a movie at the movie theater and are met with a “sigh”? Your relationship is about to get smashed to pieces. If you no longer have fun doing what is normally thought of as a fun, romantic thing to do together that you used to actually like doing, you are usually heading towards a breakup.
You resent each other. You don’t like being around each other. You feel more like roommates then a couple.
When you miss the memories more than your partner.
You get annoyed if a phone call from them interrupts you when doing something mundane.
When they start being distant with you, especially physically. Where before you might have sex 2 or 3 times a week all of a sudden it’s been 2 and a half weeks, and when you try to broach the subject she says she doesn’t want to. Kisses aren’t nearly as passionate as they were, and before long she’s wanting to come over because you two need to talk.
When you are happier they aren’t around compared to how you feel when they are around.
If you enjoy being alone or spending time without them or get excited that plans have cancelled and you don’t have to spend time with them, then that’s a pretty clear sign.
A lack of enthusiasm in communication is a big red flag. Sometimes the other person has more important things going on and can’t spare as much of their time and energy to communication as normally, and that’s fine. But when they ignore you for an longer period of time, it starts to be a problem.
You realize that your dreams (or SO´s dreams) will require some serious compromises to be able to go on I’ve been on both sides
The cops get involved in the relationship.