This Is How You Live Your Dream Life, Because It’s Not Stamped Passports And Vacation Homes

A woman staring out into the water while standing at the side of a boat.
ben o’bro / Unsplash

We are so fixated on how our lives should appear. Big houses, ocean views, elegant parties, fast cars, perfect bodies, perfect friends, stamped passports, and vacation homes. When I follow this train of thought, where I dream of the objects or circumstances I want to manifest, I wonder, why are all these things outside me?

Why do we allow the externalization of our visualizations paint the masterpiece? We externalize our dreams and paint how we would like things to seem. But in doing so we are trying to paint a mosaic with string. We are too busy orchestrating how it should all look, and perhaps forgetting the most important part.

You cannot create meaningful art without passion and it is not art without expression. And what is the point without any pleasurable sensation?

Let says you got all the things you wanted, all your visualizations realized. The picture was strung together seamlessly and all the stars were aligned on your chandelier. Would you finally feel whole?

Or would you still feel that hole? That hole you are trying to cover up with purchases, people, and things. That hole that the dream house will fill or a full pantry would feed. The hole that running away to the tropics would let you escape, the hole that the Ferrari at 200km would allow you to stop feeling for 10 seconds.

Seems like we have it all wrong. Covering up, patching up, and running away should not be the dream. 100 band-aids cannot heal an abrasion. It may protect it, which is why our external desires are not inherently bad, but when we think that peace can be achieved through the pursuit of well, things, then we have gotten it all wrong.

Start by fixating on how you want to feel. Love. Peace. Unity. Compassion. Empathy. Connected. These are the sweetnesses of life, the sugar of fruit, the warm rays of the sun. Instead of chasing what is outside of us, why don’t we explore what is already inside of us? Why don’t we heal from the inside out, just as your body heals a gash or a cut.

I realize my worst dream is having all the things I ever wanted and still being unsatisfied. Isn’t that the dilemma of our time? Sitting in a big home all alone, with all the gadgets but no feeling of home. This is a nightmare. Behind all the fancy clothes, vacations, and makeup would lie a broken soul. A soul who went on the pursuit of happiness, to find that it was never something he or she needed to pursue.

It did not involve getting there or any sort of prize or achievement. It did not involve investing, big pay cheques, or invitations to the best parties. It was simply turning all that energy back inside you. Instead of running and going and doing, why don’t we start BEing?

Ask yourself, how do you want to feel? Ask more big questions and wonder more great things. Ponder and wander and wonder through the depths of your soul. Decide what is real FOR you, because only you can decide this. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, because you are only human. Love yourself despite the restrictions you have installed, love yourself despite the circumstances you grew up in. Support yourself even if that is something foreign to you. Be compassionate for how you feel, give yourself love and rest and more love and rest because we can’t get enough of that today. Instead of putting on a pretty face we should decorate our souls so they beam of gold and never again will we cold.

We run wild with our minds but we rarely stop to sit with our hearts. When you return to her she will forgive you for your time apart.

We must learn to see with our hearts, not our minds.

Fixate on love and your life will feel like a dream. I think you may realize, you are already living it. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

Recently diagnosed with a skin condition?

The good news? You will be okay.

Finding community and support makes coping with a chronic skin condition like Hidradenitis Suppurativa much easier over time.

Learn How To Find Support