Why She Is Still Single

Jeremy Cai

She is gorgeous. She stands confidently with a big smile plastered on her face. She has a great career ahead of her. Her stars are aligned in a rhythm of luck, hard work, and ambition.

Her days are spent in the company of work, friends, and family then at the end of the day she comes home to an empty bed without any sweet alerts on her mobile phone, but the truth is she isn’t lonely. She sleeps restfully at night with a feeling of desire, motivation, and strength to rise again for the coming days.

People from a different view think she either struggles with keeping a relationship, is too picky or prefers singlehood, but the single lady knows that pleasure and comfort is coming home and spending lazy hours in bed with a good book or an interesting TV series for binge-watching.

Her daily routine doesn’t include assuring a man that she loves him upon waking up and through the rest of the day she doesn’t need to affirm her sincere intentions to keep the commitment, because she knows she can commit to almost anything she sets her heart on. Her days are spent hustling through job related tasks, planning her vacations, thinking of quality activities to do with family and friends, and dreaming of the future ahead.

The big question is why is she still single?

1. She got her heart broken

When you don’t believe in rebound relationships, you remain single because you know you are broken. A lady who gets her heart broken doesn’t jump into the next opportunity for a relationship. Instead, she deals with her pain and loss in the most dramatic and lesson-filled way. She knows that being broken is not something you need to share with someone who you can potentially love, but a blessing to teach yourself to change for the better so that when you she feels whole again, the next man will never feel the jagged edges of her being.

2. She is not ready to commit to a relationship

She may not be broken anymore or has never been in a relationship but a woman of substance knows her timeline and her aspirations. A woman in control would know when to commit or just lay low depending on her personal goals and aspirations. She will commit when she is ready, with the right person, and in the right timing and when that time comes she will be unstoppable.

3. She is afraid.

She is afraid for reasons she may or may not understand. It could stem from failed relationships, having been hurt deeply, or just because there has been a lot of pain and uncertainty around her that affects her ability to give her heart to anybody. What this single woman needs is the right guy to hold her hand and make her feel ready to be afraid for the rest of her life.

4. She has standards to uphold

She doesn’t plan on settling for 2nd best, just a face, just a money bag, just a car, or just a career. She wants the total package and she doesn’t mind waiting for the rest of her life for the right man to come because a grown woman knows what and who she wants to be with. She doesn’t plan on lessening her standards just to make him reach the cut. A well-deserved man for a well- groomed woman.

5. She is still in love with someone else

Among the reasons why she is still single, being still in love with someone is the saddest but most noble of reasons. A woman who ardently loves refuses to unlearn the feelings she had for someone she used to be with or at most occasions someone they’ve never been and can’t have.

It could be with a best friend who doesn’t feel the same way, an ex-boyfriend who had long moved on, a colleague who has been in an unhappy but steady relationship, or even to married people. It is a true assumption that a woman who stays single because of this reason holds a tiny drop of hope that someday these people will love them back and maybe in the future find the courage to hold their hand and break the walls that kept them single for so long.

The truth is you don’t need to know why she prefers to keep her heart away. What you need to know is when you see a single lady judgments and opinions are unsolicited. Respect stems from preserving your heart despite the reason. There will always be a perfect time for everything.

No matter what your reason is for being single. Just know that you hold your life, your pace, and your heart. You don’t have to find yourself in a pressure ball of friends, family, and insignificant people around you who tell you to jump into something you’ve not set your heart into.

Just enjoy the seemingly lonely ride, because being single teaches you to be happy in the company of yourself. You can always be alone but not lonely while some are committed yet unhappy. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog