Thought Catalog

How To Forgive The One Who Broke You

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Jon Flobrant

Many people have asked me why I never spoke ill of you. Why I never said any negative things despite all the hurt you’ve caused. Why was it that whenever they asked of good memories I would enthusiastically share my piece as if we continue to have those memories.

I think that the biggest secret to being not bitter is forgiveness. When you learn to forgive someone who HURT and BROKE you, all the positivity of that person is what you will see.

It sounds like a bad thing but I tell you it’s what keeps me sound asleep at night…. not harboring any hate for people.

As you go through phases of PAIN and GRIEF you reap different kinds of emotions which range from anger, blame, pity, loneliness, greed, and sometimes indiscretion. What sets a GOOD person apart from others is the fact that they get past these phases and emotions and turn all the negativities they’ve felt into positive thoughts.

When someone hurts you remember that they wanted to be happy on their own or in their own terms.

It means you are not part of that happiness. No matter how hard you try to digest this at the beginning it will be impossible to understand. But when you come into terms with your self-worth you realize the purpose of the hurt and how it gave you the best lessons in your live.

It may be easier said than done but DON’T HATE. It just consumes you when in fact your emotions never really mattered to them. Give yourself the benefit of sleeping well at night and waking up with good memories, thoughts, and bigger aspirations for yourself and your future ahead.

I think that for me, the reason why I’m still single but not lonely today is the fact that I still remember the good in HIM and because I don’t hate HIM. I have a clear picture of the man I WANT TO BE and DON’T WANT to be with. It doesn’t cloud my judgment to jump into the next relationship just because

I’m alone and that I’m in dire need of companionship.

Having to hurt and forgive teaches you a lot of things that most of the time you don’t realize it. Being the bigger person allows you to find a better NEXT, rather than just saying NEXT.

So don’t be worried if people tell you that, “YOU MUST STILL BE IN TO HIM” or if people pressure you saying “YOU SHOULD DATE SOMEONE”. Just stay still and things will happen in its orderly fashion. It will unfold before your very eyes… in God’s perfect time, reason, and circumstance. TC mark

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