We met at a small get-together. You stood there at the corner of the room ever-so- gallant in that white shirt, khakis, and boat shoes. I can say that we were forced into the conversation by a certain match-maker who set us up for this meeting. It seemed you wanted to be in the situation but I truly wasn’t ready or prepared for anything like this.
After what seemed like hours of talking about your background, family, and your work you asked me about me, my son, and my family. I was taken aback that you knew a lot about me. I guess our matchmaker briefed you well. Our first meet up ended when the dinner ended and I had to go to work as well and I thought it would stay that way until we started meeting up for jogs, breakfast, brunch, and a late night stroll. You even arranged a trip to a place I didn’t want to come back to because you told me you wanted me to have new and better memories.
You were that sunshine on a stormy weather, but you were also that thunder that signaled rain was coming. You were the Kerouac in this world of conformists. Yet despite all this I couldn’t fall into this pit of desire. Why? Because you still had a girlfriend. As much as I would want to be that “snake” I refuse to be that person.
Your mom told me that she was crazy, impolite, and did not choose the right place for anything. She would embarrass you in public and family events. I think knowing all these did not feel like a go signal to push for you but as a person who has started to appreciate your presence maybe all I wanted is the best for you. I hope one day you will be strong enough to affirm your happiness even it means shattering her heart.
Just a few days ago you told me to wait for 7 days so you could spin things into its right place and that means hurting her. A part of me admires the valor of taking a chance on me but the bigger chunk went to the disappointment in men who leave women and hurt women selfishly just to get out of a situation they don’t want to be in, but don’t get me wrong I get that.
So here are 7 reasons why I’ve decided to not wait for you. These are also reasons why a woman like you shouldn’t settle for men who asks you to wait.
1. It takes great emotion to decide to risk everything.
When you enter into complex situations it takes a strong desire or emotion for you to continue and risk everything that you have. If the love is not strong enough do not decide on such situations just because you don’t want to be alone. Deciding to be alone is the most mature thing to do especially when you don’t want to hurt people at the expense of your own happiness.
2. I am not ready for any commitments at this moment.
When someone comes from a relationship and they are not ready to commit it doesn’t mean that they are cowards or are still stuck in the past. I guess it’s just the fact that when you get wounded, you don’t heal by temporarily closing your wounds. It is best to heal and be whole again before you commit to someone so that you wouldn’t hurt anyone.
3. I want HIM to be happy in HIS own terms and leave not because HE found a reason to.
I have learned that men who fall in love with other women while still in a relationship are cowards and while they need assurance that after leaving a woman they are on to the next relationship, I don’t see it appropriate that you decide because someone has pledged to catch you. Break it off when the feelings are gone, not when you are ready to give it to someone else. I want you to be happy and free because you want to move forward with your life and be brave enough to hurt someone because you deserve the happiness just as she does.
4. I don’t want her to feel what I felt when I got replaced
Being replaced is the most painful thing in the world. It draws you to compare yourself and that feeling of inadequacy eats you up like cancer metastasizing to different parts of your body. Just because you got replaced doesn’t mean you’d have to give other women the dose of the medicine you took.
5. I know my worth. A woman like me shouldn’t be kept waiting.
A woman like you should know that only ladies in the old times are kept “waiting” for their betrothed.
Women in the millennium are strong, empowered, and equal to men and while most of us submit while in a relationship we should learn to respect ourselves. While it may seem flattering that someone asks us to wait for them to be ready and free it shouldn’t give us a satisfaction that we are actually settling because we were asked to. If you know your worth you will be there in his side, holding his hands, not in the sidelines and away from the people’s prying eyes until your rightful “TIME” has come.
6. You want to leave her for me and it may happen again.
I just want you to simply read this phrase “You left her for ME. What makes me think that you would do it again when you meet another one like me or BETTER?” Ladies being better is not even an issue because I know you will put your best foot forward in this relationship. A man who doesn’t know how to say his mind while in a relationship will continue to break hearts because he couldn’t communicate his own frustrations and in the end you will be at loss as to what happened and you will never get a chance to change it.
7. I just need time to be myself and be happy on my OWN.
A woman who has been single for quite a time develops her own rhythm and pace which does not include men. When a woman begins to love herself to a point that she is satisfied it takes a grand gesture for her to realize that it’s time to be loved again by someone NEW. It doesn’t take just chocolates, late night strolls, words, and even gifts. It only takes ONE GREAT THING that not all men have, COURAGE. The courage to break her walls and the ability to show to her that she could take care of herself but it would be better if you are the one who does it creates that MAGIC leading her to fall again, and mind you it’s not easy.
So to you… You may read this before your time expires but YES, do know that MY answer is NO. I deserve better and you deserve better. You are a nice guy, and maybe if in the future we meet again we’ll see. For now, I want you to be free and happy as you are. I want you to be courageous and selfish enough to grab your own happiness.
Do not pity her, women like us… we’ve got arsenals that you never thought we had. We just don’t break, destruct, and die. We continue to live despite the pain because that’s just how we are, STRONGER than you think.