Today you will feel inadequate but tomorrow that inadequacy will eat you apart. That feeling of being replaced by someone new will haunt you in your sleep. There will be no dry pillows to sleep on tonight and tomorrow will be more difficult because it will be another day of thinking, dreaming, and wishing it was still you who grazed his hands, touch his body, and most importantly hold his heart.
In a few days you will seem to be okay. People around you will treat you normally. The people who see you will make you feel okay again. They smile, laugh, and joke without worrying about your feelings. This will be a little bit helpful.
The next days will appear as if you have moved on. You then pride yourself in believing you’re okay. But, in a week you will start wondering how you were so easy to replace. Questions will creep and eat you alive again.
A week after, you will relapse and start crying again thinking, blaming, pitying, and hating yourself. You will cry to the heavens hoping for better days, you will ask why he left. You will actually pray you will forget everything and re-start to the time you didn’t know that person or to that time that person’s existence didn’t mean anything to you.
You will ask HIM to take the pain away. You will ask HIM why he gave you this problem… This heartache… but you will never really know until that day you accept that HE is gone forever.
How does it feel to be replaced without warning? Without a grace period? Without as much as a sense of respect and appreciation of the relationship you had?
Maybe no one really knows the exact feeling or gravity of pain. No scale could ever describe the pain.
But all we know is that it will really and truly HURT. As much as we would want to follow the so-called three month rule there will always be that one person in a break up who will be ready to jump to the next relationship. It’s not because it is easy for them. It’s because they’ve accepted the fact that you will never truly work and be happy with each other. It was a matter of choice. A chance they had to take.
Sadly there will always be that one person holding on, that one person who will be left behind. That person will continue to wonder what happened, what went wrong, and what chances they still hold. Sadly, this is a reality we have to face. Loving and breaking up doesn’t have any legalities or contracts. You cannot expect someone who broke your heart to still think of your welfare and think of how you would feel after. If they did… you would have never broken up. Because breaking someone’s heart means they’ve stopped caring for you.
The only time a person starts living after a break up is after they are ready to fight for their own happiness and that means they will be selfish and ruthless enough to not think of the other to get what they want.
Breaking up is like a war. There will be winners and losers…. On the side there are casualties. You can chose to win or lose but there will always be casualties. Someone has to fall in order for the other to be freed.
Falling and hurting happens to everyone. Tears also stained there pillows at one point in their lives. It’s just not you who fell for this unfortunate event. How you heal and when you heal will be dependent on how you accept this loss. You can take all the time in the world or do it as quick as you can. You can meet other people or relish in solitude to get through the pain and longing.
Remember this, only you can help yourself in this time of emptiness. Just know that you have to stop waiting, wishing, and hoping for them to come back because they won’t ever come back. If they did, it wouldn’t even be worth it to take that chance. If someone decides to leave you, they are ready to live a life without you and you wouldn’t want that. You deserve someone who stays and will continue to stay by your side. Always remember that your goal is to be happy and if they were ruthless enough, have the same vigor to get your own.
Today you will ask yourself if you will ever be ready to come face-to-face with the person you loved and the new person who makes their heart flutter. It will elicit shivers down your spine or make you insides churn. Believe me when I say that in the near future you will never even worry for this day to come. It will never even cross your mind and if you do… you will have the big smile on your face knowing you’ve given them a chance to be happy.
All you have to do is to find yourself, love yourself, and accept that this all happened for ONE reason. And that is to learn your lesson, be braver and tougher be the best version of yourself for someone destined to experience that greatness.