The sexual revolution of the 60s freed females of unreasonable restraints an outdated culture placed on them. What it did not do, however, is change the way males view the female sex.
Throughout our history, males have suffered from what has been called the Madonna-whore syndrome. Fast forward to today and that cultural oddity continues to persist only now it’s called the girlfriend-slut syndrome. Like it or not, it is forever bouncing around in the male psyche and that includes young males today.
Why is this? You only have to read Freud to get a clear explanation of it. I also cover it in my book The Womb Obsession, A Theory of Sexual Preferences and Orientation available as an e-book from Amazon.com or in paperback from Bricbooks.com.
As Freud astutely postulated, the infantile male in inherently attached to his mother and early on subconsciously desires her sexually. This is a natural urge in an attempt to return to the warmth of the womb through penetration. And for his entire life, he will seek to do this with surrogates in the form of impersonal encounters, girlfriends and spouses. The dilemma for him, though, is how to juggle his pursuit of mother in a girlfriend or spouse with succumbing to his basic urges involving random sex. Hence, the girlfriend-slut syndrome.
Slut is a strong word. I didn’t choose it. But used here, it simply means–from the male’s perspective–a person with which he has indiscriminant sex; a roll in the hay, so to speak. And like it or not, these are the only two choices in the male psyche. For females who are not looking for meaningful relationships, this article is pointless. It simply offers others an insight into the male mind when he is seeking a serious partner.
Here are five things you need to know about males when they classify:
This is the first observance the male has of you and the reaction to it is instant and usually permanent. How you act in his presence is critical to how he will classify you. Are you loud, pushy, demanding, aggressive or exhibiting other behavioral traits males associate with other males? If a male wants that, he gets plenty of it from his buddies. And he’s totally comfortable with that. What he’s not comfortable with is getting it from females. It actually threatens him. He sees himself as the aggressor. That behavior is not what he wants to see in a female, ever.
The sexual revolution gave females the permission to say whatever they wanted anytime, anywhere, and that included the use of four letter words. But that’s not what males want to hear from females. Back to his mother when he was a child. He never saw that side of her and he connects off-color language with inappropriateness in females. It is an instant turn-off. And nothing unnerves a male more than females referring to both sexes as us guys. This robs him of his masculinity. Think if males referred to both sexes as us girls. Eek!
Second only to behavior because it is also instant, the way you dress is a definite clue males use to classify you. Overtly sexual attire titillates and eroticizes him. He right away classifies that as slut behavior. His mother didn’t flaunt her sexuality at him and he’s not looking for that in females he’s seriously considering as a girlfriend or spouse either. Behind closed doors might be a different story. But out in the open where the entire world can see it, this is a complete no for him. Think about it.
The male is attracted to that. He can also be threatened by it. What he is looking for is a female who is at least as educated as he is. More than that simply threatens him. But he does appreciate equality. It’s part of his soul-mate criteria. If you are overly-educated, that’s just terrific. Don’t flaunt it, though, if you’re serious about the guy.
Males don’t process with each other. They solve their own problems on their own and they don’t want to hear about yours. When females complain about their problems, the male’s natural response is to try to solve them. Females are not usually looking for solutions. They just want to process. This frustrates males to no end. Keep your problems to yourself. He’s not looking for someone who has problems anyway. Intelligent people know a lot but say very little. They focus on things outside themselves conversing credibly about them. If you know something about a subject, males are delighted to engage in conversation with you about it. If you know little or nothing about it, you’re better off keeping your mouth shut. Nothing irritates a male more than listening to females rant about things they know nothing about.
All this sounds terribly backward, doesn’t it? Well, deal with it. Males are backward, culturally speaking. In choosing girlfriends, nine out of ten would opt for the more reserved type. How disconcerting is that? But it’s the truth. Go against it and you’ll more than likely spend the rest of your life trying with one guy after another. Of course, you’ll probably have a lot of fun along the way.
For a truly provocative read, check out Saints and Dragons, Edward Snowden in His Own Words.