I Was Ready To Wait For You, But You Left

Brooke Cagle

To be completely honest with you, I was more than ready to wait for you beyond the limits of time. I was more than ready to run to you with everything I had, no matter how much it’d hurt me. I knew the consequences, and still, I was ready.

But when you left me without a single word, I questioned myself. Did I really want to do this to myself? Put in a huge amount of effort for someone who had no intention to even try? You see, I loved you with every shaky breath I took, with every cell in my body. But I knew my worth. I knew my value.

So this is me, admitting that I still love you. So much that it still seeps from my bones, my blood. You exist in every beat of my aching heart, in the air that my lungs breathe out. You exist in the very essence of my mortal being.

This is me, admitting that I want you. I keep hoping you’ll somehow barge into my life like that first day, and stop me from leaving. I keep hoping that maybe, just maybe, you think of me just as much as I think of you. I hope I cross your mind every once in a while.

This is me, admitting that I have and will cry from the loss of you. I feel the emptiness within me that you left behind, and I know that it will always be there, waiting for you to fill it again. But even without you, I know, I will learn to live with it and let it nurture my growth.

This is me, admitting that I am weak, and vulnerable, and a slave to love. The very thought of you still makes my heart race, and I will keep on replaying the memories we carved together like a broken record. My heart will scream “I love you” and “I miss you” or “Please come back”, and I will feel its resistance echoing in the deepest marrows of my bones, but I will not look back. For you didn’t either.

I will think about you every step of the way, and I will let myself ache. For the warmth you shared in those halcyon days, for the feel of your hand as you placed your palm on mine. I will hold on to the memory of you, but I will move on with myself, and wave at your back as I watch your distant silhouette fade even further. But I know my strength, and my worth. I will pick up my bruised heart and make it whole again. I will move from the standstill that you have caged me in, and I will start again, breathing love and bleeding hope. TC mark

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