Is Love Really Hard To Find Or Are We Just Afraid?


“Love is so hard to find these days.”

I hear that sentence from so many people. When I look around myself in public, I see that the majority of people have their eyes glued to screens whether it be their phone or laptop. All that you have to do is hop on a bus and take a look around. You’ll see that most people are looking at their phones. How do we expect to find love if we’re fixated by a screen? How can we say that it’s so hard to find if all we have to do is look up and see what’s right in front of us; humans.

It seems as though it’s getting harder and harder for people to communicate face to face because of dating apps like Tinder. What did people do before these apps? They approached each other. I couldn’t imagine being in a shop and a man approaching me asking me if I’d like to go for dinner. Yesterday, I was the only person walking on a street and one of two guys from across the road proceeded to whistle at me, “hold on prince charming, I’ll be over in a second”.

I often wonder to myself if these dating websites have destroyed our communication skills. If a man approached one of us on the street, our first thought would most likely be ‘what does this weirdo want’ or ‘am I about to be attacked’. Yes, we do have to be careful but you always have to be careful. Just because you’re communicating through a phone or laptop doesn’t make it any safer.

I have learnt from speaking to women and men that they crave the old fashioned stuff. If somebody found someone attractive twenty years ago, they would have to go up to them and introduce themselves. They actually had to make that first move face to face. I know it seems like it’s just much easier to do over the phone, you can break the ice easily with a cheesy chat up line but if you see someone out and about and think ‘wow, I’d really love to speak to them’, then why not do it?

Yes, rejection is awful but what do you have to lose? Go for it! This goes for both men and women. You can’t always expect men to be the ones to initiate everything, it works both ways these days! All it takes is a polite ‘hello’ and take it from there. Saying hello isn’t a marriage proposal, it’s nothing to be afraid of, yet, it’s something that sends the fear of God into most people, myself included!

I don’t use dating apps (tried them, hated them) and I feel because I don’t, that I’m doomed to end up as the next Ms. Havisham. I think that the reason people speak to someone they like in a derogatory way or catcall to break the ice is because they’re too embarrassed to do otherwise. You aren’t going to stop and talk to someone in the middle of the street that whistles at you or says ‘nice ass’, are you? You’re more likely going to stop and talk to someone that approaches you, says hello and shakes your hand.

It’s time to take a break from dating apps and look around us. There’s only so much swiping to the left and right that you can do! Look up, smile at someone if you like them. Say hello and you never know what could happen. You might just find that love that you say is so hard to find these days. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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