Just do it. Get it out. Holding it in will only make things worse. The more you cry in the beginning, the less you cry later. It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you a wuss, it just makes you feel a little better. You’ll be surprised how good a hysterical cry can make you feel. Just let go.
2. Whatever feelings you have, don’t fight them.
This time will be a roller-coaster for you. You will have good days, bad days, awful days, and surprisingly wonderful days. My good friend always told me, “Cherish those great days, because they won’t come often.” If you are feeling good, don’t feel guilty about it. Enjoy the happiness, because tomorrow could be another awful day, and you’ll be really pissed that you transformed a good day into a bad one.
3. Keep at 75/25 balance of staying busy and being alone.
When you are getting over someone, it’s a must to be around friends a lot. Be around people that love you and you feel safe with. You at least know they won’t leave you over bullshit. That will make you feel good. But it’s also a must to be alone sometimes. That is your thinking time, your reflecting time, and probably your time to be sad. Because you can only avoid the sadness so long. You have to face it, or you will never truly feel better.
4. Find things to look forward to
This is more important than you would ever imagine. When you’ve been with someone for awhile, chances are they are what you look forward to. No matter what kind of shitty day you had, you can come home and spend time with them. But unfortunately and very depressingly, you no longer have that. It’s horrible at first. You will probably feel like now you have nothing to look forward to. You’ll probably go through the motions for a bit and not even realize how you got to work or got back. Time will creep and fly at the same time. But whether you have to force yourself or not, plan things. See your favorite band, go to a football game, watch a marathon of Orange is the New Black, organize your stamp collection, play on 3 fantasy football teams, or travel to see San Diego (translated as a Whale’s Vagina.) Once you find things to look forward to, you’ll get a little bit of your spark back, and time will begin to move quicker.
5. Don’t jump right back in
When you go through a breakup, you are still in crazy relationship mode. Like Notebook relationship mode. It’s tough to meet people, because you already expect the emotional level to be a lot higher than it is for them. Keep yourself in check and make sure you take everything slow. Side note: Don’t expect to date the first person you slept with after a break-up. You’ll probably look at them a lot different than you would like to after awhile. The next person you date is someone you most likely won’t see coming. But you can’t give someone your heart if half of it’s still broken. Allow heal time, and time to bring yourself back from relationship world.
These are basic rules that most people know but don’t always follow. Break-ups are awful. People give you sympathy, and ask how you’re doing for a few days. The good friends maybe a week or two. But the rest of the time, you have to deal with it yourself. You will be stronger in the long run. You will be smarter, and you will find someone better. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or in a month or 6 months. But I promise, you will.