You’re so in love, you want to spend forever with them, you want to spend every moment with them…YAY FOR YOU!! But you’re probably jumping the gun a bit. This is very prominent in the gay community (I’m talking to you lezzies). However, it can definitely be applied to you breeders as well. I have a 2-year rule when moving in with someone. (Aka I haven’t moved in with ANYONE EVER.) I have seen firsthand that prematurely moving in will sabotage your relationship.
If it’s been a long enough time, and you feel you’re ready, don’t stop because of me. But I BEG you to consider the following reasons you should think twice….
You THINK you’ll have more sex…but you’ll have less
It’s a common misconception that you will have more sex when you move in together. The truth is that it’s usually the opposite. When you live together, time isn’t an issue. You always think that there will be ‘time’ for everything, which should equal more time for sex. Right? Wrong. There is really more time for falling asleep on the couch, for worn out sweatpants, and for putting off sex until ‘later.’ Just as you will see them at their best, you will now also see them at their worst. So even though they’ll still look amazing to you in the morning, don’t expect it to look the same as when you partied the night before.
Your clothes become OUR clothes
When you move in together, there is very little ‘mine’ anymore. You don’t really have things of your own, and if you do, they have free reign over them. So say goodbye to that comfy t-shirt you wear to bed, and hello to I’m-out-of-clean-underwear…I’ll just wear yours. Oh yeah, I went there. And be prepared to lose half of your clothes in the break-up.
You can also say goodbye to most of the TV shows you love, and hello to the new channel playing 24/7: Compromise
Feel confident that your partner will put up with your obsession with The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, Fairly Legal, and Burn Notice? Think again. You better invest in some DVR so you can watch those when your gf/bf passes out early or is in the shower.
You have to deal with their dirty habits first hand
When they knew you were coming over or staying over, your gf/bf would probably clean up their place. I’m not talking vacuum, dust, and scrub the bathroom; but at least clean up the million pieces of clothing on the floor or do the dirty dishes. You’re in for a non-Maroon 5 wake-up call. Everyone has a living flaw. For some, it’s that they don’t vacuum or dust, while others don’t do dishes or leave stuff everywhere. Or maybe it’s that they’re TOO anal and you can’t put anything in the right spot or clean up enough! You’ll find out their living flaw…and fast.
You pretty much have a curfew now
If your gf/bf didn’t know your whereabouts at every second, they are about to. So I would put any skeletons in a place other than the closet because they are going to be using it for their Sex and the City DVD collection. If you are Shady McShadster, you won’t be able to hide that when you live with a person. There are no more secrets, no more mysterious nights, and no more games. (Unless you count dress-up.)
Their sleep schedule becomes YOUR sleep schedule
Unless you find someone with a similar sleep schedule as you, (RARE) get ready to adjust like a mothafucka. This isn’t normally a question that you ask when you’re getting to know someone, but maybe you should start. Because if you loveeee sleeping in on Saturdays, and they don’t…welcome to the world of weekend mornings. (It’s just as bad as you think.) And if you love to start your weekends early, you may end up bored until 11am. However, you can always compromise with morning sex. That makes everyone happy.
Morning Routines? See ya
If you both have jobs (hopefully) and they are the usual 9-5, 9-6 jobs, then you may have to do something you’ve never had to do before: share the bathroom. (Insert scary monster music here.) You will have to adapt and may not get to shower every morning, take up the whole mirror, play music, bang pots and pans, etc. This definitely takes some adjusting and can get annoying, easily.
I really hope you love their friends, because they are about to INVADE. You no longer have your own place to go home to when their annoyingly loud and obnoxious friends come over. (Everyone has one of those, don’t lie.) So you may end up dealing with them, AND cleaning up after them. You say ‘EFF THAT’ right now, but just wait…it will smell like beer, cigars, and gunpowder for days if you don’t clean up. Is that what you want?! (Sorry, I watched a Sopranos marathon last night.)
Make sure you think about moving in from all angles, and don’t have tunnel vision. If you know that you can stay together in spite of all those things, then go for it. Living together can be an amazing and love-building decision, but only if you’re both more than positive it’s the right thing to do. Make sure you have the love, stability, and relationship foundation to withstand the shit storm that will surely come with the U-Haul.
Buy Claire’s new Thought Catalog Book here.