As you must have discovered by now, I am not an easy person to love, indeed. I am a chronic over thinker. I get insecure with every single person who wants to catch your heart. I am jealous, needy and melodramatic. I am quite mature for my age, but I must admit that I get childish at times. I am a handful and I wouldn’t blame you if, at some point, you would question yourself if I am still the one you want to spend the rest of your life with…
I didn’t write this to beg you to stay. I wrote this to remind you of the reasons why you should.
I have never been so sure in my life until I first laid my eyes on you. After traveling across 5,919 miles, I can personally attest on how love can go the distance. I will never forget how beautiful you look on that floral overalls underneath your denim jacket. Being welcomed by your sweet perfume, showered by your kisses, tightly wrapped around your arms. At that moment, I knew, this is definitely how I always want to wake up and come home to for the rest of my life. This woman will be my future wife.
That memory is what I keep on replaying in my mind, whenever things get tough and life gets rough that our love seems to be not enough to conquer the distance. I know being apart is never easy especially on days where my physical presence seems to be the only solution to make things better. But please, hold on. Don’t give up. I may not be physically there, but in my mind and in my heart, as cliché as it may sound, you’re always here with me. We will not be apart for too long.
You always tell me how we seem to be complete opposites. You’re spontaneous whereas I like to be well-prepared. I am an optimist whereas you are a realist. You’re short-tempered and impatient whereas I am calm and enduring. We are totally conflicting that our compatibility may be deemed questionable by some. However, I would argue that the universe has conspired for us to meet. To learn and see the world from different perspectives. To balance and complement each other. To form the greatest team that will face the uncertainties of life together. Our differences may dishearten you and push you to let go. Please, don’t. I will be stronger when you feel weak. You’ll be my strength when I can barely stand on my feet. You’ll be the voice in my head when I cannot think straight. Together, we are strong enough to conquer anything in this world.
I am at my happiest when I am with you. When we speak on the phone or when I hear your voice, I totally feel like a brand-new person. I feel invincible when I have you. We both know that love is not always filled with rainbows and butterflies. Challenges will come our way to test how we deeply want to be together. Our hearts will not always be warm and filled with love. Sometimes, it will turn cold; hardened by all the hatred and disappointments that I have caused. Sometimes, this will drive you to walk away and completely forget about me. Please, stay. Let’s sit down and work things out. I will change to become better. I may not always get it right at first, but I will not stop trying until I can see your beautiful smile again.
There are other women better than me, I know. More mature, more successful, more established. I don’t want to compare myself because I know that I am unique. My peculiarity may bore you which might push you to look around. Please, close your eyes. Go back to that moment when I placed that ring on your finger, promising you that one day, I will call you my wife. I’ll keep that promise. I may not have fully figured out my life yet, but I am sure that you are the only woman I want to share this journey with.
Life is difficult, I know. The never-ending cycle of learning to become an adult and staying as my lover is both challenging and tiring, indeed. It’s normal to feel tired and battered from the endless problems that life throws on us. It’s understandable if you want a break; if you want to rest, I’ll let you take a breather and I’ll stay exactly where you left me.
You can have all the time in the world to figure things out. Just don’t give up on us. For I know that deep beneath your tired soul lies the woman who cheerfully and lovingly welcomed me in that airport where we first met.
I know she is still there. She will always be there until we grow old together.
Hence, I’ll keep my faith and wait until she regains her strength to continue our story.
I’ll continue to love her, unconditionally.