Don’t be afraid to love again. Lower your guard and let people in. All the heartaches you’ve been through may make it seem impossible to feel anything again. But please, don’t let the pain make you feel numb. Don’t let these tragedies harden your heart. As hopeless romantic as it may sound, please don’t give up on waiting for that one true love.
I must admit, it is indeed rather tiring. This never-ending cycle of loving strangers, I mean. The endless process of relearning people’s stories, secrets and beliefs. The eternal retracing of the lines on the palms of their hands; memorizing the freckles on their cheeks; admiring that cute little mole on the side of their eye. Getting used to their distinct laughter and chuckle whenever you crack a joke. Although their voice doesn’t resemble any of your previous lovers, they seem to have the same effect on you whenever they speak. Once again, your heart skips a beat; your breathing becomes faster; your hands become a bit sweaty. You keep on hoping you’ll pass by them on the busy, crowded streets. You keep on wanting to speak to them every day, even if you have absolutely nothing to talk about. Your soul suddenly has this irrational craving for someone who was once a total stranger.
You see, that’s the art of falling in love. It sounds bizarrely familiar, yet it isn’t. It’s like having an episode of deja vu. You feel like it already happened to you in the past, which technically, it has, but just with a different person. A person who was once familiar but, unfortunately, demoted back to being a stranger.
It’s an endless cycle. If you’re impatient, you’ll eventually give up and settle with whoever you’re with right now, even though they’re not special enough. Even though you’re not genuinely happy. Just so you can escape that cycle. Just so you can stop looking like a fool that is searching for someone you aren’t even sure to exist. Just so you won’t get tired of searching in the sea of strangers.
However, if you’re persistent enough, you won’t give up. As cliché as it may sound, you won’t settle for someone less than what you deserve. You will continue to search for that person in that vast sea of strangers, no matter how stupid you appear to be. You will continue to relearn and unlearn thousands of secrets, stories and beliefs. You will keep on falling for different tones of laughter and voices. You will retrace millions of lines on people’s palms. You’ll continue to fall, uncertain on whether anyone will catch you in the end. You’ll let yourself get stuck in that cycle until you finally find that person. Your person. By then, you will settle. You will realize that your cycle has finally ended. You will finally find your home.
It may feel like an endless journey. It may feel like you have fought hundreds of battles. It will be extremely tiring, I know, but it will be worth it.