To The Man Who Never Loved Me: There’s No Such Thing As Bad Timing

To The Man Who Never Actually Loved Me: There Is No Such Thing As Bad Timing
Teddy Petrosky

Hey. It’s me. I could have done this in person, over text, phone call, whatever. But honestly I truly do not want to be anywhere near you, nor do I want anything to do with you. And here’s why.

This is not a letter about why I am so, so horribly brokenhearted at the fact that you’re gone. Because I’m not. I’m doing pretty well to be totally honest, but that’s because you prepared me for this for a long, long time. I honestly do not care if you respond to this letter. All I ask is that you read it.

“Time” was a shitty excuse to disguise the fact that you had pushed me away and that you had not felt the way you used to in months. You started pushing me away in the summer. A real couple goes out of their way to make plans, but to make plans with you things had to line up perfectly. There was no compromise.

I’m not sure if you know this, but it is pretty obvious when a person you love starts to pull away from you.

I was a priority to you, until about July. After that, whether you noticed or not, you became more distant. Less loving. Less you. When was the last time you called me babe? The last time you had a date idea, put me before your friends, treasured our alone time, gave me drunk attention?

We had three talks. I was literally pleading for you to love me and to give me the attention that I had not gotten for months. Things only kind of changed the last time. But I’m pretty sure that that is when you started to realize things were falling apart. You didn’t know this, but that was my last ditch effort to save our relationship. You made changes, I was happy, but things were still not the same.

They weren’t the same because as much as you really cared about me, you stopped loving me a long time ago.

I’m writing you, partially against my own will. But you need to know the damage you caused. And that what happened wasn’t a secret. By telling me that dumbass excuse about “time,” you gave me a reason to hope for you to come back. You gave me a reason to wait for you.

And I want you to know that I’m not.I am trying extraordinarily hard not to hate you. But it’s hard. How do you deal with knowing that a person you loved so much is literally fine? This is the part that makes me angry. You are fine. You’ve been fine.

The breakup honestly was probably a weight off of your shoulders. And that is not okay. If you love someone, I do not care what side of the break up you are on, you should be devastated.But you’re not. And good for you honestly. I really believe that you stopped loving me a long time ago, and I wish for both of our sakes you would have left me then.

I do not want you to think that this is an angry “I want you back, how could you do this to me?” letter. Because it’s not. I deserve to be someone’s priority. I have moved on. It does not affect me to see you. I just want nothing to do with the man that I put at the top of my list, just to be put on the very, very bottom of his. I’m not bitter. I’ve met a lot of new and exciting people and I’m honestly living my best life. I’m not mad at you. Truly, I’m happy.

I wish you the best. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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