I’m not really good at expressing my feelings in general. But if I do, it means I care about you so much because I want you to know how I feel. You’re my special person I wanna be able to talk to instead of people who don’t wanna listen. You were that person for me. But now, you’re just a stranger because you don’t wanna listen. I knew from the first time wasting my every breath telling you, “You hurt me, I’ll never leave you, I care about you so much, I love you.” Those words I tried telling you, they’re real more than words can explain. You just didn’t listen the first time… and the second time… and the third time.
I wasted every breath and moment being in your presence to tell you that you are the most important person in my life and I wanted you by my side because I’m so glad I met you, that I get to spend every moment and share them with you, but you didn’t care at all.
See when you love someone so much, you don’t care about the consequences. I loved you when you didn’t love me and that caused me so much pain in my heart. I am now scared to even let one more person come into my life thinking whatever he says to me will all be once again another lie told to my face and another lie through every single text. I now have to be curious on why a guy likes me. Is it because he thinks I’m “pretty”? What does he want from me? Does he really like me? Does he really love me? Is he really serious about this? Can I invest so much time in him that I know I can do but I’m too scared to?
All of these questions I now have to ask because the guy I onced loved, well, he betrayed me. I now have to be the bitchy and crazy girl that is so stubborn because of one person who I thought was going to be my forever and I didn’t have to ask those questions, because he said the right words, at the right time, to only break my heart in the end. But that’s okay, I want and need that reassurance that just one person is going to be my forever, not temporary.