Being busy can seemingly look like a good thing. There is a common mindset that if you’re still moving you’re closer to getting where you want to go. That is not necessarily true.
A lot of people confuse being busy with being productive or doing something with their life. Being busy or moving in life doesn’t mean you’re moving forward. Its like being on a treadmill. Sure you are racking up miles and endurance, but you’re stuck in one place never really going anywhere. Being busy distracts us from a present reality, a self that we don’t want to face or maybe are even ashamed of.
In high school I had an abusive boyfriend. He wasn’t like that the first two years, but the last two years were hell. I eventually decided to leave him before school ended. He ignored me like he never even knew me and was already with another girl. I was distraught that I wasted 4 years of my life with someone like that. I couldn’t even bear going to my graduation. That broke everything I was and turned me into someone I was so very ashamed of. I had no friends. I was ashamed of myself and the journey I took that got me there. I made myself busy. I got a job and worked so much and isolated myself further. I was lost. I did not like myself.
When you get to that realization sometimes you try to avoid facing reality and make yourself “busy,” but really distracted. That is where you get stuck. When you don’t deal with yourself first you will always be stuck.
The solution is to forgive your self, let go, and also to build a healthy and active relationship with yourself. Think of it as a reincarnation. You are your own Build-A-Bear. You can do whatever you want with yourself. For example I always set aside quiet time just for myself. I also started training for my first triathlon. I started volunteering a lot more as well. I started doing things I never thought I could do and every step that I took I loved myself more for it. And at that point no one could stop me because I was prioritizing myself, becoming healthier, happier and most importantly I was shaping myself into everything I never thought I could be.
It is NOT conceited to love your self, to be confident in your abilities and intelligence. It is the most essential thing a person could do.
There is a fine line between narcissism and having a active, healthy self image. All I know is I have my own back and no one can take that away from me.