Post-Break Up Blog Post Titles

“How to Win Friends And Influence People By Talking Ad Nauseum About How Lonely You Are”

“I Have This Great Idea To Write A Book About How I Travel the World for A Year And Search for Inner Peace Through Food, Meditation, and Love, And Thereby Learn That Being Single Is Okay But! In The End I Marry A Wealthy Braz–Goddamn It”

“Now I Would Like To Sell You Some Tupperware”

“Using Exclamation Points To Make Incredibly Bitter Statements Seem Wry And Jaunty!”

“How To Disguise Tears Of Self-Pity As Tears of Happiness When Friends Announce Their Engagement Or Pregnancy”

“10 Ways To Spend The Money You Used To Spend On Waxing And Cute Underwear”

“How To Ignore Your Feelings Through Prodigious Alcohol Consumption”

“From Now On, This Blog Will Be About Crafting”

“5 Reasons Why I Decided To Stop Shaving My Legs”

“Every Secret My Ex-Boyfriend Ever Told Me: An Illustrated Guide”

“On Open Letter To The Cleaning People: Just Because That Balled-Up Men’s T-Shirt Was Under My Pillow Does Not Mean It Belongs In The Laundry IT WAS SACRED”

“Meet My Cats — They Have Middle Names And Everything”

“Signs You’re A Spinster: 7 Things To Watch Out For”

“Your Uterus And You: The Many Ways You Have Let Each Other Down”

“Why Having Grammar Pet Peeves Implies A Healthy Superiority”

“On Reality TV Marathons And Sweatpants”

“Polyamory: On Being In Love With Both Ben and Jerry”

“The Differences Between Vibrators And Personal Massagers”

“The Pros And Cons Of International Adoption For Single People With Spotty Credit And A Low Threshold For Bureaucracy”

“How To Stalk People You Used to Love Using Social Media”

“Love Yourself First, Think About Showering Later”

“15 Things To Do While All Your Friends Are Cuddling Before A Roaring Fire With Their Significant Others”

“Diversifying Your Fulfillment Portfolio: Emotional Support From Gay Friends And Therapists, Financial Support From Yourself, And Meaningless Sexual Partners From The Internet”

“The Power Of Positive Thinking (Is A Myth)” TC mark

image – photosteve101

More From Thought Catalog

  • James M

    Mine were about… let me go check… 

    Ah, yes. “The Stomach Must Turn” and “Trust,” but in lowercase lettering that somehow didn’t seem appropriate here.

  • http://omgstephlol.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

    LOL. “How to Stalk People You Used to Love Using Social Media” is my favorite.

    • Anonymous

      Mine too.

      • http://asplenia.blogspot.com/ asplenia

        I’m trying to post NOT as a reply but it won’t let me. I hate Disqus. Anyway, that’s my favorite one too but a close second is tied with “Diversifying Your Fulfillment Portfolio” and “The Power of Positive Thinking.” Loved all of these.

  • http://twitter.com/SoosSahar Sahar Soos

    “From Now On, This Blog Will Be About Crafting” LOL

  • Asdf

    “Using Exclamation Points To Make Incredibly Bitter Statements Seem Wry And Jaunty!”

    Not bad. I can dig it. Now let’s go one step further:

    “Using Ellipses To Make Innocuous Statements Seem Introspective And Full Of Allusions…”

  • Madeline

    I’m literally dying of laughter.  LITERALLY

    • http://unthoughtfulthoughts.wordpress.com/ Samurai

      nooooo don’t die

  • http://unthoughtfulthoughts.wordpress.com/ Samurai

    “Lyk, fuck boys! I just wanna dance!!!”

  • Anonymous

    “Look At The Following Lyrics That I Swear Were Written For Me”

  • http://twitter.com/SophiiieCooke Sophie Cooke

    “Love Yourself First, Think About Showering Later” love love love!!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks everybosy!

  • hollywood

    “Polyamory: On Being In Love With Both Ben and Jerry” so wonderful.

  • http://twitter.com/iamsubmerged Jordana Bevan

    okay can every regular writer for thoughtcatalog pick one of these titles and write the blog content for it? PLEASE. the hilarity…

  • Ana

    This is great! Really funny  :)

  • 100 First Dates

     I laughed (and cried) because I can relate to every single one of these. Hilary – you make my day brighter.

  • douchegirl

    “Diversifying Your Fulfillment Portfolio: Emotional Support From Gay Friends And Therapists, Financial Support From Yourself, And Meaningless Sexual Partners From The Internet”

  • kitefeet

    hehe really good sure i could add to that list

  • Olga Gerrard

    ohhhh – brilliant. How I wish I had written this, although it is done so flawlessly it saves me the additional heartache of recognizing I could never be as spot-on. Thanks for this, a big boost to th

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