10 Signs You Have Been Reading Too Much George R. R. Martin

1. You begin to view everyone with blond hair as sinister schemers who’d best not be trusted. Winter is coming, you think to yourself with silent fury when some bimbo cuts in front of you at the ATM.

2. You cut your hand while chopping vegetables, and briefly wonder if a dose of boiling wine might not be the best treatment.

3. You begin to ponder names with lots of Ys in them for your Hypothetical Future Children, much as you did in fifth grade in Ohio when you planned to name your firstborn Khrystyne Storm. Bonus if you know what you’d name your direwolf.

4. When out to dinner one night, you find yourself searching the wine list for Dornish vintages.

5. You get caught sketching potential house sigils in your notepad at a meeting.

6. You Wikipedia the Greyjoy lineage, you sad, sad human being.

7. In a road rage incident that leaves everyone shaken and confused, you call someone an “upjumped son of a hedge knight”.

8. Lying in bed, sleepless, you compose a little mental slashfic starring complex Jaime Lannister and dreamy Jon Snow to, ahem, help you sleep, and don’t immediately kill yourself in shame.

9. Though you haven’t attended Mass for several years and don’t feel the least bit conflicted about it, you’re dreadfully torn by the question of which god you’d worship in Westeros — the old gods, the Seven, or R’hllor — and what that would say about your character.

10. You think that you should design and wear a Team Stark t-shirt, and that doing so would actually be funny and cool instead of terrifyingly lame. TC mark

image – David Shankbone


More From Thought Catalog

  • http://twitter.com/robinthecradle1 Robin West

    I actually have a stark t-shirt. waaa waaaa.

  • http://www.silenceandsyntax.com/ V

    10 Signs That Thought Catalog Has Finally Lost It—because there can never be too much George R. R. Martin. 

  • http://twitter.com/becca_oneal Rebecca O'Neal

    The old gods, the seven, or R’hllor? The Others take this thrice damned list. I worship the Drowned God.

    Alternately: What the hell have I become?

    • http://lalibertinesalon.wordpress.com/ Aspasia

      Someone awesome. But then again, I put “Dornish” as my ethnicity on a survey, so maybe I should be asking the same thing?

  • http://dirtyyoungmen.wordpress.com Maxwell Chance

    Magnificent! You can break your fast on my meat and mead anytime.

  • cassius

    ahahha true story. especially number 5.

  • weird kid

    #GPOY ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1588587122 Nienke Dekker

    11. You know what R+L=JS means, and you believe it.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know what this means, and Google won’t tell me. Help.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1588587122 Nienke Dekker

        Rhaegar Targaryen + Lyanna Stark = Jon Snow.

        “Promise me, Ned”

      • Anonymous

        This has completely blown my mind.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1588587122 Nienke Dekker

        I know what that feels like. Also, Jaqen H’ghar = Syrio Forel = the new Pate.

      • http://lalibertinesalon.wordpress.com/ Aspasia

        I love the first-time reactions to that theory. :) 

  • Aspasia

    12. If you have ever listed “First Men”, “Andal”, “Rhoynish”, ‘Valyrian” or any other population as your ethnicity and/or culture. 

  • Arlan

    signs that you are desperate to display your veneer of chic “nerdiness” :1. you make a post bout george r.r. martin on thought catalog

  • Arlan

    this comment was deleted the first time:

    signs you want to show off your newly adorned
    culturally acceptable “nerdiness” : you make a post about george r r
    martin on thought catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/Faelai Emily O'Donnell

    -You throw Game of Thrones themed dinner parties based off the recipes you found at the SOIF food blog: The Inn at the Crossroads.

    That pork pie is mighty delicious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KayFaux Kehin Faux

    Im guilty of #6

  • Eaglewing

    This should be added to the list:
    11. You find yourself responding to people by saying nothing more than, “Hodor.” 

  • brian

    #10: the correct joke was “Team Eddard”.

  • Chouse1117

    Or when you text your wife and she has no clue what you meant

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