With fog on her purple framed glasses
she barely wore
She reaches for her steaming hot coffee
brewed with all the caffeine she needs
to ensure she’ll make it through
another day
which is a day that tends to seem
“normal” to others …

she casually reads,
love stories and fantasy fiction her favorite
Making sure to catch her breath before

she falls;
falls to deep in the
uncomplicated world of a written adventure;
A world that makes her blinds
enabling her to block out all she
doesn’t want to see in the real world

Blocks her ears with her faded white, overused earphones;
She listens to music that
she often sings along to with a soft whisper
Soft enough for no one to hear

When she’s alone she dances
in her underwear
pretty much forcing away the thoughts that often leaves her feeling heartbroken and alone
Dreaming of becoming a world-famous dancer
(known by the name)

She smiles,
and boy when she smiles it seems
pretty clear that this girl has got her
shit together

But sadly;
she craves to be fixed
craves to be free from constant self-doubt
free from self-hatred and free from judgment

Unfortunately,
No one seems to notice the
way she truly feels
and frankly,
she’s gotten so good at hiding what she really feels
she’s unsure of how to express her pain

Unsure of how to express the hatred she has
for herself and for all those who did her wrong
because she’s been told the first step to healing is to admitting what you feel
Nonetheless she has no idea how to fully express the hurt she has been hiding for so long

Cause unfortunately,
the wrong she’s been done
Is a wrong not easily forgotten
Something that screwed her up so bad
no matter how hard she tries
There’s just no escaping from

About the author
maybe I fail but at least I never stop trying 🌞 - c.d Follow Chrystal on Instagram or read more articles from Chrystal on Thought Catalog.

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