1. The Big Kid
Basically you’re Buddy The Elf. You’re what would happen if ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas materialized into a living, breathing human. Your enthusiasm is either merrily embraced or found insufferably irritating, with no in-between. It’s not like you care though, any negativity or frustration is met with a higher level of oblivious, cheerful glee, because you’re so firmly in the spirit, and confident you aren’t being a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
2. The Exposed Procrastinator
You wait ‘til the last minute to buy a flight home. You wait ‘til Christmas Eve to do your shopping. You don’t decide on New Year’s plans until mere hours before the ball drops. There are a variety of moments around the holidays that will shine a spotlight on your lazy habits, which can be eye-opening, and you’ll feel the urge to do something about it… next year, maybe.
3. The Self-Gift Giver
It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but during a month in which several of the material things you want are on sale, why not buy them for numero uno? Yourself. It’s the season of giving, but that doesn’t specify who is having the gifts bestowed upon them.
4. The Diet Disregarder
There are entirely too many sweet treats and large feasts being had around the holidays to count calories. Dieting, schmieting, pecan and pumpkin pieting. You want to kill that “healthiness” noise until January, when you can halfheartedly begin, and shortly thereafter give up on tremendously strenuous diet and fitness related New Year’s Resolutions. Which brings us to the next person…
5. The “NEXT YEAR IS MY YEAR” Resolution Declaration Maker
If you’ve ever seen a football team get rowdy right before the game, boldly, aggressively yelling out the things they intend to do to their opponent, you’ve seen this person. We’ve got to get motivated somehow, so this person will spend the month of December letting everyone know that they intend to do a lot of things next year, so you’d all better brace yourselves for their new and improved self. Realistically will it happen? Who knows. It’s like an iOS update announcement with no release date.
6. The Constant Christmas Music DJ
We’re all liable to hear Last Christmas by Wham! 700+ times every December, but that’s not enough for this person. This is the merry music junkie who, in all honesty, probably plays festive tunes year-round, so just deal with it if you want to be in their car, home — or really, in the same general vicinity as them.
7. The Summer Sympathizer
It’s so cold, and you regret not appreciating the warmer days more. You want to be on a beach or in a pool, not this winter wonderland that is your nightmare.
8. The Grinch Who Complained About Christmas On Social Media
All of your statuses are grumpy, and you’re upset about one of three things:
1. It’s too cold outside.
2. It’s too crowded outside.
3. People are being excessively happy and frankly, you want to bring it down a couple notches with a dash of negativity.
9. The Sad, Nostalgic One
Christmas time isn’t as fun as it was during childhood, because you have to deal with the crowds of people, you have to spend money, you give more gifts than you get, and Toys R Us is no longer capable of filling you with excitement. This person will watch every 90s sitcom Christmas episode rerun, and will make a conscious effort to catch Home Alone every single time it airs, falling into an abyss of holiday nostalgia.