14 Things Loners Know To Be True

Oh, The Places You'll Go!
Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

1. Alone time is a wonderful thing until it’s not by choice. Having the option of being around people but choosing not to is far different from being secluded with no alternative. Countless times I’ve desperately wanted space and when I finally have it, it’s agonizing pain. Kind of like Taco Bell.

2. There’s something oddly pleasant about the short-lived period immediately following moving or getting a new cell phone, in which only a select few people know where you live or what your number is. It’s like you’re living somewhat off the grid.

3. The recent glorification of not interacting with people probably isn’t a great thing. I’m guilty of it myself – I say #PajamasOverPeople all the time, but it’s not necessarily healthy to go into isolation. Being closed off from the world isn’t exactly something we should be encouraging and actively pursuing as a lifestyle.

4. At times, preferring peace, quiet and isolation can be detrimental to relationships and friendships, mainly because it’s mistaken for disinterest or a personal insult. Sometimes these lone, recharge sessions are needed, though those close to you may take offense.

5. When people see you out by yourself they’ll often think you’re sad or something is wrong. Years ago I was spotted by a friend while seated alone in a movie theater and the look of concern on her face as she invited me to join her party was incredible. I declined because solo movies are one of my favorite things, but I suppose watching Dan In Real Life unaccompanied on a Wednesday afternoon wasn’t classic emotionally content person behavior. Still, who says it signifies an inner crisis?

6. Body pillows are always a worthy investment.

7. Loneliness is hardly limited to being at home by yourself. You can be in a room full of people, have plenty of friends, and still feel so, mind-bogglingly lonely. Loner doesn’t equal lonely though.

8. Leftovers are going to happen. A lot. Pretty much anytime you prepare a meal, actually. Have you ever tried to cook spaghetti for one? It’s borderline impastable*, so you’ve always got to expect food to come in a size that exceeds your appetite’s capabilities. You know for certain that Tupperware and foil are your loyal friends.

*Making these types of puns are a great way to learn all about loneliness firsthand.

9. Sometimes you develop habits alone that wouldn’t necessarily be considered normal to others, so you’re wary of your actions when around the general public. I sometimes whisper out loud reading stuff at home but when I do it in coffee shops it can garner a stink-eye or is-this-guy-for-real glare.

10. Kid Cudi’s music is eerily relatable at times. He’s like the official spokesperson for solo folks, especially those of the deep thinking, sentimental nature.11. You’ve got to thoroughly enjoy yourself or learn to over time; otherwise it’s the equivalent of spending days with a person you dislike.

12. It can be scary how much you enjoy being by yourself because isn’t life supposed to be about love and sharing experiences with people? Sometimes I have to make a conscious effort to socialize, just to breakup a lengthy stretch of solitude.

13. You’re not sure why this is, but you’re much more susceptible to feeling sad about being alone at night. Maybe it’s the darkness or the laying down in bed (see point #6 for solution) or the fact that it’s the quietest opportunity to think as you lie there, but if ever you’re going to want company, it’s going to happen after the sun has set.

14. It’s ALWAYS better to be alone than to use another human as a coping mechanism for temporary relief of pain being caused by neglected desires you’ve got inside. It’s selfish and unfair to that person. Plus, failing to address those things you’ve got going on within won’t benefit you at all in the long run. TC Mark

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