1. You have epic reactions to things.
Your mannerisms are so animated that they tend to overshadow whatever it is that you were initially responding to. When you come home from a first date that went extremely well, you don’t just recite the story in a dull, monotone ramble — you storm in and break out some type of celebratory pop-and-lock dance for the ages (see above). I guess words and vocalizing things is cool sometimes, but your preferred method of expressing yourself is via unique facial expressions or body movements.
Not only that, your reactions have a jack of all trades, interchangeable type feel that makes them useable in numerous scenarios. For example, your super diverse reaction to a bite of tasty pizza could just as easily be usable for a who-farted-face or a “You mad, bro?” reaction. There are no limits to what scenarios your face & body can successfully respond to.
2. You repeat yourself. Like, A LOT.
You did something that got a laugh and now you’re going to beat that horse until it’s dead, then handle some angry calls from PETA, and continue beating the lifeless corpse of that poor stallion. Over and over again, you literally can’t stop repeating the same funny story or joke or whatever it is that you’re doing to amuse the masses. Here’s the twist – you’re a one trick pony and the horse you’re beating to death is actually YOU. This assault will continue until everyone has heard/seen your shtick multiple times, and they get fed up enough to click the metaphorical ‘X’ and close your figurative window of existence. In real life terms this is as simple as people not reacting to your joke for the 452,948th time. Complete silence, not even so much as a cracked smile or a courtesy laugh so it’s clear to you that your current routine has run its course.
3. There’s more to you than meets the eye.
A lot of people have only seen a sliver of the whole you, but perhaps that’s by choice and you prefer it that way. The only bits and pieces they’ve witnessed aren’t enough to form an opinion or make an accurate evaluation of your personality… Much like a three-second animation viewed completely out of context.
4. You live on the internet.
So many in our generation live online to some extent, but you have deep ties within the web. You’re obligated to be there, maybe it’s where you work or you’ve invested, and maybe the internet is just your home away from home. Still, even when you’re in your actual home, you’re online — clicking, scrolling, perusing all over the nonexistent place that you basically reside.
5. You are pretty much constantly moving.
You’re seemingly ALWAYS on the go. I’m talking nonstop, around-the-clock movement. People ask if you ever sit still and yes, your body shuts down for sleep, but everything on the inside is likely remaining very active.
6. TV and film references and quotes leave your mouth regularly.
Your pop culture knowledge is impressive, which is why you know the wittiest lines, funniest scenes, and most aesthetically satisfying moments from every episode of the currently popular TVs and movies. Out of the blue you can be familiar enough to say things like, “Oh, Community season 1, episode 11? I love the don’t eat the crab dip! bit. “ Knowing the elite references from stuff people watch is crucial if you’re going to be a successful pop culture buff, or GIF.
7. You’re only capable of being amazing and hilarious in brief but extravagant 3-10 second increments.
Your brilliance comes in beautiful little nuggets, anything too lengthy just isn’t as effective as tiny, quick hitters. As we conclude this, I realize that human versions of GIFs sound a lot like a charismatic cokehead who has the premier cable package setup at home.