1. Because math.
Arithmetic is my nemesis. I remember the good old days of color by numbers and Number Munchers, but after that, math and I’s relationship went downhill. “What’s wrong?” Math would ask, and I’d just stare at it with frustration for a moment before responding, “Things with you have just gotten so complicated.” Basically long division was the beginning of the end, but we went back and forth for years, struggling to make it work. Calculators were our counselors, but even the finest Texas Instruments’ products couldn’t salvage our broken relationship. So yeah, to an extent I left college because of an ex. A subject that I had once enjoyed but grew to despise.
2. Marker residue on whiteboard is distracting.
When an instructor would clean the dry erase board but leave a marking behind, it made me feel unnatural amounts of frustration and anxiety. Focusing on the lecture and lesson were no longer possibilities — all I could do was stare at this excess marker, wondering why destiny & Professor Ishouldbemorethorough decided that this random, bottom line of an ‘E’ deserved to be exempt from the wrath of the eraser. Why did the ‘F’ part meet its demise but there’s a random ‘_’ just maxin’ & relaxin’ all cool like everything is kosher.
3. Gas prices were higher than my GPA.
If you don’t live on a campus at a time when the cost of fuel is $3.88 a gallon and your slogan is C’s get degrees (still a better motto than YOLO), that’s a bad combination. Even the smartest, most well performing students were only 12 cents better than a gallon of gas.
4. Dozing off for a second, then waking suddenly with a snort and your head violently snapping up is kind of embarrassing.
Also it comes off as disrespectful, even if it’s not intended to. Exhaustion isn’t always a result of carelessness, and a fulltime job with unfriendly hours can make any student a lethargic mess.
5. The unfair world of textbooks.
Hey, buy this book for $200. You’ll only use it a handful of times this semester but you can always sell it back afterwards. Oh, buy this book for $160 as well, and a few more until you’ve spent an absurd amount on ‘required’ reading material. Don’t fret, you can return them when it’s over. Wait, not that one because the bookstore no longer needs that volume. Or that one. Or that one. Annnd the other one will get you a whopping $20. Holy smokes, that’s 5-ish gallons of gas!
6. Because I hate school but love education.
I agree with 97% of what this gentleman says… At least I think I mean 97% – again, I can’t seem to outrun my dysfunctional relationship with math.