There is a fine line that separates the fight-to-the-death dystopian future Hunger Games ideology and our every day commute in the concrete jungle. While people aren’t technically lurking around corners with arrows waiting to take out someone for a cab (in most parts of the city, anyhow), it often feels like they might be. Let me be clear, this is not an Amanda Bynes situation and I am not walking around with paranoia and an over-grown blonde wig, but you get my drift. So we find ourselves in these Hunger Games situations on daily basis, to name a few:
The Cab Reaping
Admit it, you’ve seen someone strategically plant themselves 40 feet in front of you to get a cab and you wanted to Mike Tyson them, but you didn’t, unless you were one of those guys who made the news. You’ve also strategically placed yourself 40 feet in front of someone to steal their cab. Jerk. Once we’re in the cab, we never buckle up because we know the driver has our best interest at heart and is completely committed to our safety…
The Victory Walk
It was just recently, I was walking through Penn station with my suitcase obediently rolling behind me but happened to interfere with a woman’s stride. We’ve all played the game, how close can I cut it, when you perfectly time your stride so you can slip in front of or behind someone. Well, I immediately paid for not timing this one right when this woman threw out some choice words then tackled me to the ground. All this is true, minus the tackling part.
We practice an enormous amount of self-control when someone’s chin is propped gently on our shoulder, breathing down our neck on crowded rush hour train. Throw in a flood or construction, and Jumanji is in full effect. People are face planting poles, doors are closing on bags, and monkeys are swinging from the ceiling. More or less.
After a long line at Starbucks/Dunkin/Pret with the woman in front of you ordering this… and then that… never mind this… with extra that… you would expect to get the drink you ordered. You may give the barista a name you always wanted, to keep things interesting, but nevertheless your order is clearly communicated. It doesn’t take much to set New Yorkers off, so when I walk out the door and take a sip of my caramel coffee only to find that the caramel never made the train, my morning is ruined. Call it dramatic or diva-like, but the better part of my morning is bitter due to that coffee inattention that got my day off on the wrong foot. This particular instance may be just me.
The Quarter Quell Club
New York City nightlife — we find our allies, assess the scene, and identify our competition. If you are going to a club, then you are probably already aware of the zoo you’re walking into. Beady eyes underneath gelled back hair line the edges of the room, while the antelope gather in center.
Better groomed and better dressed, animals we are.