(March 21st to April 19th)
An Aries would THRIVE in the zombie apocalypse. They’re the person everyone will seek out for protection and guidance. Aries are naturally adventurous and wouldn’t let fear get the best of them, they’d use their instincts and find a safe place to hang out with their friends while everyone else is running around getting eaten.
(April 20th to May 21st)
A Taurus would survive the zombie apocalypse because they are smart and tough. They are good at making necessary sacrifices for the greater good so they’ll be valuable members of any group. The only problem is how much they’ll miss good, hot food and clean, comfy beds to sleep in.
(May 22nd to June 21st)
A Gemini would not survive the zombie apocalypse, but only because their hearts are so big. They’d feel too bad for their friends and family that have been zombiefied and be eaten in an attempt to save them. Geminis are cut out for loving, not for fighting.
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
Similarly, Cancers would struggle with the suddenly cut-throat world around them. Their survival would depend completely on having a strong loved one to partner up with. Cancers are secretly very tough people, but they aren’t as adventurous as they’d need to be in this situation. With the right person, however, they could find their happily ever after in the most unlikely circumstance.
(July 23rd to August 22nd)
The zombie apocalypse is a dream opportunity for Leos to be the star of the action movie they’ve always dreamed themselves to be. They can slay zombies and be heroic and protect their friends — and get heaps of praise and compliments for doing so. It’s their ideal scenario, tbh.
(August 23rd to September 22nd)
Virgos would survive the zombie apocalypse because they would create an elaborate checklist that would keep them safe at all times, a la Zombieland. Through careful planning and double-checking, Virgos would be the safest people around. They’d be a sought-after addition to any rag tag group of survivors.
(September 23rd to October 22nd)
Libras would survive the zombie apocalypse because they can make friends with anyone. In an apocalypse scenario, this means whoever has the guns and the food. They’ll be able to charm their way into any group of survivors, and ride the whole thing out in relative comfort.
(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Scorpios will survive the zombie apocalypse because, well, have you ever met a Scorpio??? They were born for this. They’ll slay all the zombies, and then all their enemies, and then find a group of like-minded warriors to rule.
(November 23rd to December 21st)
Sagittarians will not survive the zombie apocalypse. They’ll be good enough at surviving until the time comes to do something really stupid (but fun) and then… their last words will be “here, hold my beer.”
(December 22nd to January 20th)
Capricorns are born to rule in a ruthless fashion, so they will be at their best in an end-of-the-world type situation like this. They will be able to use all their gifts to create the best zombie apocalypse group ever. If there’s a chance of reversing the whole thing and starting a normal society again, it’s going to be because of a Capricorn.
(January 21st to February 18th)
Aquarians will get weirdly cerebral and spend their time not only surviving, but trying to solve the problem of why this happened in their first place. They’ll capture some zombies and figure out all the ways they are and are not dangerous. They’ll be the most highly sought-after zombie experts in the end times.
(February 19th to March 20th)
A Pisces will not survive the zombie apocalypse, unfortunately, they simply do not have a killer enough instinct to want to spend the rest of their life killing people all day. That just seems like too harsh of an existence for them when they’d rather be chilling out listening to Lana del Rey somewhere. On the plus side, they’ll make amazingly beautiful flower-crown wearing zombies.