17 Men Who ‘Never Thought They’d Cheat’ On Why They Cheated

Bianca des Jardins
Bianca des Jardins

1. “Its hard to reconcile. I think of myself as a good guy and I’ve always been strongly against cheating. I’d rather just break up with someone if someone else seems so much better. But it just happened. She was a girl I worked with and we got close, we spent so much time together and she understood the stress of my job so much more than my girlfriend I actually started feeling closer to her. When my gf and I got in a huge fight, I was feeling reckless and started playing with fire. I invited the coworker for drinks “to vent” and one thing lead to another.” — Aaron, 29

2. “I never thought I’d be the guy who cheated. I lost my job, I gained weight, I was feeling pretty shitty about myself. It’s hard to even say this because it makes me feel like such a weak douchebag, but this really hot girl who was a friend of my buddy’s started paying attention to me and it just felt so good while I was feeling so low about everything. I went along with it, we didn’t even sleep together because the fantasy went away after we started hooking up, but it was already too far.” — Kevin, 27

3. “I was drunk. I don’t think drinking is an excuse, but I also know it’s something I never, ever would have done sober. I barely even remember it so I can’t say what my mindset was at the time. This was two years ago, I came clean a few weeks later and we’ve been broken up ever since. I don’t drink past “moderately buzzed” anymore.” — Jason, 28

4. “My wife stopped wanting to have sex with me. It was a long time and we talked about it and tried a lot of different things but I got to a place where it felt justified to me, like if she didn’t want to and I did — why shouldn’t I be able to hook up with someone else. It went on for a few months before I broke it off because I was honestly not interested in anything more than hooking up, and the other girl was. I haven’t told my wife and I haven’t done it again but I’m still not convinced it’s somehow the right thing to do to stay married to someone I love more than anything, and with whom everything else is perfect.” — Mark, 33

5. “The opportunity presented itself and I’ve always thought I’d say no in that situation, but I said yes. I surprised myself with how shitty I am, or maybe, how little control I have over what my dick wants.” — Alex, 27

6. “I’m not a cheater, but my ex threw herself at me a week before her wedding (to someone else). We both knew it was a one-time thing that didn’t mean anything other than “holy shit am I really only going to be with one person forever?” so I don’t think it was that bad. It’s not something that would happen again.” — Stephen, 29

7. “I figured it was less bad because I didn’t care about the girl I was dating that much. I was in a relationship with her, but it was more of a placeholder. I know this sounds like I’m a sociopath but I’m not. It’s just that whenever I thought “I’m not a guy who cheats” I imagined it being in a relationship with someone I loved deeply and would never hurt. This was not that.” — Andy, 22

8. “Everyone knows me as a really great guy and I try to live up to that reputation. I’d never cheated before this one incident and I never will again, either. What happened was that I loved this girl, but we both got comfortable. The luster wore off. We were on our wait out but neither of us wanted to do the dirty work of breaking up. So when the opportunity presented itself, I cheated. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was the excuse I needed to end the relationship.” — Mike, 23

9. “I was getting ready to get serious with this girl, and I thought she might be the one but I had these huge doubts. As much as I cared about her, I was worrying constantly that there might be something better out there. Spoiler alert: there was. I was an asshole, but it needed to happen for me to see that while she was great, she wasn’t it for me.” – Morgan, 29

10. “I’m a great guy until my sexual needs stop being met. If she was putting in the effort, I would be 100% committed to her, but she stopped caring so I did too.” — Ben, 27

11. “She was everything my girlfriend wasn’t, and I got too curious to stop myself.” — Jonathan, 24

12. “We have kids together and I love her and don’t want to break up — but we don’t have sex. She’s totally over it. I view this as an act of charity, this is the only way our family will stay together.” — Jim, 32

13. “I didn’t want it but I was at a party, a little tipsy but in control, this girl brought me outside under false pretense and started making out with me. I pushed her off at first, but them I realized I was horny and I gave in. It was a stupid weakness in the moment. I was caught off-guard. I never thought I’d be someone who cheated. — Peter, 20

14. “I was seeing someone who I was really excited about, but we weren’t official. I was trying not to be overwhelming or too needy, because I have a tendency to be that way. A buddy told me the best way to do this is to date multiple people, so that you’re not too invested in the level of attention any one of them in particular gives you, you’ve got back up. So I did this and I was actually somehow sleeping with all three of them at once when the one I really liked made a comment about how we were exclusive. I had no idea we were supposed to be exclusive since we’d never officially talked about it, but I was game. I dumped the other girls immediately, but I think I technically cheated on her.” — James, 28

15. “My girlfriend was traveling a lot for work and I was lonely. I was getting closer to a female friend and I knew it was wrong, but I kept telling myself I’d never cross the line. Until I did. I lost my girlfriend because of it and didn’t care enough about the friend to want to date her afterwards. And now I’m forever branded a cheater.” — John, 35

16. “I got married too young. I found my dream girl afterwards. I’m seeing her. She knows I’m married. I hate hurting my wife. I’m so confused.” — Brad, 30

17. “Cheating is such a big bad thing, of course it’s something I would never do. But we don’t live in the big world of moral absolutes. We live in granular reality. We live in small moments that build. Little mistakes that add up to a decision you would never make if it were offered to you wholesale. I said I’d never cheat while cheating a little bit every day. And then one day it was happening and I realized I’d been creating this circumstance for months. I was the frog that got boiled alive because I let myself turn the temperature up so slowly, I didn’t even notice.” — Justin, 25 TC mark

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