Hi Everyone! It’s one of the juiciest episodes of every season: the fantasy suite dates.

Softboy Ben does not disappoint, this week he tells TWO women that he loves them. In his mind he thinks he did this because he’s “so nice” and love people “so much” when in reality it’s a pretty fucking shitty thing to do to two women — to let them think you’re about to propose and the competition is over only to let the bottom fall out. Oh, and Caila wanders around Ben’s hotel room while smiling to herself like a psycho. Fun!

Here’s how the women did this week:

RIP

Caila

Caila was the red herring of this season. She was strong out of the gate and, as Ben says, everything he was looking for in a woman. But in the end, she wasn’t right for him

Intelligent viewers realized this weeks ago when they went to dinner and it was time for her to stop smiling and nodding and actually say something of substance and she was unable to. And then afterwards… she just weirdly pretended it never happened and just kept smiling and flipping her hair through the hometown date hoping no one would notice she doesn’t actually have feelings for Ben.

Ben eliminates her this week after he finds himself telling both Lauren B and Jojo that he loves them, but finds himself unable to tell Caila the same. I think you could also tell his heart wasn’t in it because he brought the other two girls on amazing dates in Jamaica and he took Caila on a boat ride down a muddy river.

For kicks, here’s Caila popping in on Ben like a total psycho:

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ready to be mrs. softboy higgins

Jojo

Though Ben tells both Lauren B and Jojo that he loves them both, I can’t help but feel a little bit worse for Jojo. First of all, Lauren is Ben’s clear favorite. Secondly, Jojo is a bit wiser when it comes to Bachelor history. Because Bachelor cannon forbids saying “I love you too” (at least on camera) here’s Jojo’s bewildered reaction when Ben reciprocates:

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Girl thinks it’s game over.

Lauren B

Lauren B and Ben got to go on one of the most fun dates in Bachelor history: setting baby turtles free!!!!!! Can you imagine if you were Amanda and you had to pretend you had fun working at fucking McDonald’s as a date when Lauren B got to make the miracle of LIFE happen for these little cuties???

Anyway Lauren continues to be, even through the miracle of editing, Ben’s obvious choice for his final lady. Why he even derails from this route long enough to spend time (much less share an ‘I love you’ with Jojo is beyond me). She is very clearly the bubbly blonde he signed up to find.