Hi everyone! This week Bachelor Ben tried to woo America by making barrettes for single mom Amanda’s kids and Olivia and Lace duked it out for the title of this season’s villain. Every week I am ranking the women from least to most likely to make it to the end. Here’s how the women did this week:
Our fallen heros
Poor Samantha never had a shot. From an abysmal performance on her limo exit to getting the lowest compatibility score on the “chemistry” group date, she had nothing going for her and was sent home this week. Looks like she’ll have to fall back on her lucrative law career…
Mandi is a bit of a divisive character because she’s just so weird. I think it’s cool but I understand that it’s not for everyone… especially extremely basic bros like Ben. Ben wants a cookie cutter sweet Christian family girl to bring back to small town Indiana. He is definitely not Mandi material.
It was really hard for me to tell who the third eliminated contestant was because at this point they still all look the same and ABC refuses to do enough titling of the women to remember who they all are. Anyways, Jackie the gerontologist/skin care sales woman is gone.
LB pulls herself out of the running in a conversation ABC weirdly doesn’t show us much of. I have a theory that what really sent LB packing was the she discovered Ben is a born-again Christian. For some reason ABC doesn’t really let him talk about this but it’s all over his social media and he’s said it’s THE most important quality he’s looking for in someone else. Also fun fact: LB had to go by LB because there were TWO “Lauren B”s.
Actively competing for
fame Ben’s heart
Emily and Hayley
Chris Harrison made a mistake last week on Bachelor Live and told us everyone could tell the twins apart because one of them got injured on a soccer date. So, when there was no soccer date this week, we knew the girls were safe. Still… it just seems so unlikely that one of them makes it the long haul. They actively talk about how unintelligent and blond they are. I don’t think Ben’s after a rocket scientist or anything, but that just seems like a bit much for him.
I don’t know why I say this with certainty, but for some reason I am sure Amber is the would-be castoff who was saved by LB eliminating herself. She was runner-up on the high school group date challenge.
I’m not sure what’s less likely — that Lace will win The Bachelor or that she will learn to enunciate. This week she continues to go on long crazy rants to the camera about how the guy she agreed to date along with 25 other women isn’t paying enough attention to her. She assures Ben that she is a “really good girl” all the while doing exactly the opposite of what “a really good girl” would do. I think she’ll stick around at least through one more rose ceremony though, she’s definitely fun to watch.
Literally the only time we see Rachel this week is when she’s accepting her rose. I don’t think this bodes well for her making it deep.
And… this is about all I could capture of Jami this week.
Jubilee goes on the high school group date and is unfortunately pair with Lace. That night she tells Ben how much she loves his humanitarian work because she was an orphan in Haiti before she was adopted into the United States. It’s clear that Ben likes her, but it doesn’t seem like they have a fiery connection going on.
We haven’t seen a lot of Shushanna so far — again not necessarily a bad sign. However, the scenes we do see her in all focus on her speaking English as a second language. Which is weird (and probably rude on the producer’s part). She goes on the love lab group date and doesn’t seem to get one-on-one time with Ben all week. It doesn’t seem like she’s going to make it far.
Jennifer didn’t get a lot of screen time this episode. She was mostly on camera complaining about Olivia and Lace. She also wore and awful half-up hairdo at the rose ceremony which didn’t help matters. I keep flip-flopping on whether I think she will make it far, there’s not convincing arguments either way.
Becca was so forgettable on her date that I didn’t even realize she was on a group date until I rewatched the show. This isn’t bad. She had some sweet one-on-one time with Ben playing basketball (more Hoosiers references) and she’s a wallflower as we learned on Chris’ season, plus sometimes the winners don’t get any airtime until halfway through the season when the producers start the fairytale storyline to the end.
Lauren H goes on the high school group date and doesn’t stand out there but later Ben gives her special one-on-one time and a gift at the cocktail party.
I don’t really dislike Olivia as much as she is supposed to be this season’s villain. She seems aggressive and dorky and confident, none of which are inherently terrible qualities — though I don’t think those are things that make her a good match for Ben. This week, she goes on the love lab group date where everyone finds out she’s the best match for Ben (75th percentile, which doesn’t really seem that high?). Ben takes her to his hotel room which she weirdly lords over the other girls. At the end of the date she gets the first impression rose.
BTW, did anyone else notice Ben’s weird posture when he kissed her? Who kisses someone while crossing their legs away from them — a classic sign of non-interest?
I bet you forgot there was someone named Leah on this show. Either she goes home soon or she has a big arc in the second half of the season.
Lauren B sneaks into the top half of the ranking because Ben made a special effort to have one-on-one time with her at the rose ceremony and gifted her a photo of the two of them on the same steps from the day they met.
Amanda is kind of a mousy little baby. She’s one of the most beautiful women to ever be on the show, sure, but she seems like she has a really weak personality. Which, honestly, I think Ben would appreciate. They make barrettes for her kids and melt everyone’s heart.
PS look at this fucking dress:
Jojo goes on the high school group date and looks smoking in cutoff jean shorts and a tank top. She’s super bubbly (which Ben says over and over that he loves) and does well. I definitely think she’ll get far in the season because she’s gorgeous and seems to have a great personality, but I don’t know if she will win because she’s too lively (and awesome) for small town Ben.
On the high school group date Ben brings her to the best location of the night — on top of the whole building and tells her how much he loves her bubbly personality. They share a kiss and she says “I have never in my life felt this happy before.” At the end of the night he gives her the group date rose.
Caila is the stunning, sweet, non-threatening girl next door that Ben came on the show to find. Can we just stop this season now? There’s no reason for him to pick anyone else over her. They should just get married and make plans to go to the Yankee candle store outlet on the weekends.
Anyways Caila gets the coveted one-on-one date. Ice Cube and Kevin Hart show up to
promote their movie help out.
For good measure, here is Olivia’s face when she realizes Caila gets a one-on-one date with Ben:
Burning questions for next week’s episode
Who’s kissing Ben on this sweet glamping date?
What c-list musical guest will we be forced to care about???
Will this be another Bachelorhot tub gone TOO FAR???
Are Ben and Olivia going to get a room???
What is Lace crying about now???
What makes Jubilee so pissed off???
Where can I airbnb a sweet pool like this???
See you next week!