(March 21st to April 19th)
A king or queen costume. Let’s be honest, an Aries isn’t going to decide what they want to be until about an hour before they have to leave for their Halloween party. A king or queen costume is easy enough (just add a crown!) that they can pull it off and enjoy a night out being the petulant ruler they’ve always been inside.
(April 20th to May 21st)
An actually sexy costume (even if they only wear it long enough to send a sexy snap). A Taurus is too good (and too proud) to do something as overdone as “sexy nurse.” They should invest in a classy, quality costume that allows them to feel their best and let’s others know they aren’t to be fucked with. Why not go all out and be an actual sex kitten or impersonate the Devil tarot card?
(May 22nd to June 21st)
A Gemini will also wait until the last minute to figure out their costume, but unlike an Aries it’s not because they enjoy flying by the seat of their pants. A Gemini’s worst enemy is their own indecisive nature. Since one of their best attributes is being helpful to their loved ones, they should forego the drama of decision making and partake in whatever theme one of their friends wants to try whether it’s Spice World or Mulder and Scully.
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
Cancers just want to curl up and be cozy and let everyone know that they are loved. They should dress up in a furry dog or cat or teddy bear costume. When choosing between buying or renting, just buy, you know you will wear that shit again on a random Saturday night when you’re vegging on the couch.
(July 23rd to August 22nd)
A Leo loves to be praised for how witty and smart they are. They should dress up in a funny, topical costume everyone will comment on. It’s better to be handmade so you can cement the fact that you’re funnier than everyone in their heads, however, we can’t ignore that 2015 has brought the perfect Leo costume in Cecil the lion.
(August 23rd to September 22nd)
A Virgo is usually seen by those around them as a joyless rule follower. If a Virgo is a doctor or nurse in real life they will be a zombie doctor or nurse on Halloween. Lawyers will be “ghost lawyers”, etc. This year, keep people guessing, show up as Hillary Clinton! Drink 3 glasses of wine! Go nuts!
(September 23rd to October 22nd)
Libras are obsessed with being Libras, ideally they should just buy a scale, a white toga, some gladiator sandals and go as lady justice so they can talk about it all night.
(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Scorpios are never funny so they shouldn’t try to do humor. And, honestly, it’s beneath them. A Scorpio feels at home in any ensemble that says “fuck you I’m hot.” An earnest Kim and Kanye hot couple costume is the highest form of Halloween dress for a Scorpio.
(November 23rd to December 21st)
There are two things Sagittarius people love: base humor and hooking up. This is the sign that should rock the store bought sexy nurse costume in all its glory. Use your best selfie as your Tinder moment, get 5 guys to meet you at the bar you’re partying at and go home with the cutest one.
(December 22nd to January 20th)
Halloween is a bit of a stretch for the least fun-loving of all the signs. They are just more polished and chic than the rest of us idiots who are going to drunkenly cheer when daylight savings hits and the bar stays open another hour. If possible a Capricorn should avoid dressing up and enjoy a nice dinner instead.
(January 21st to February 18th)
Aquarians cannot be roped into group or couple costumes. They are fiercely independent and will do their own thing whether the rest of the group is even dressing up or not. They should dress as Che Guevara or the Manson girls or go an entirely different route and celebrate that they are the most sarcastic sign in the zodiac with a Jim Halpert-esque non-costume.
(February 19th to March 20th)
Pisces are probably spending Halloween trapped in a relationship which no longer fulfills them but “isn’t worth” ending (since that would require conflict). Inevitably this sign is being bossed around by a significant other or a group of friends so they will rarely be faced with the decision of what they want to be. If they are, they should do s 180 and dress up as a dominatrix and see what if feels like to be in charge for once.