1. For whatever reason, the best people have all failed
Just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean things always work out for you the way you’ve planned. It’s good to remind yourself that: “At 23, JK Rowling was broke. Tina Fey was working at the Y.M.C.A., Oprah had just gotten fired from her first job as a TV reporter and Walt Disney had declared bankruptcy.”
With failure comes baggage. That doesn’t make someone a bad person. It doesn’t make them undateable. It just makes them human.
2. ‘Baggage’ makes people better
Where would you be without the hard things that have happened to you? A divorce, a trauma, a severe setback from the life path you thought you were going to take — none of these things are fun to go through, but they make us stronger people. We are more adept at navigating life and more resilient people exactly because of what we’ve been through.
3. People without baggage just haven’t been tested yet
Anyone who’s tried for something difficult to achieve has failed. Try and fail hard enough and you’ll end up with some kind of baggage. If you’re looking for someone to date, someone who might whether good and bad times with you, you don’t want to choose someone who’s never had to face a hardship before, you want to choose someone sturdier — someone you know will rise to the challenge.
4. They are better at showing you love when you need it most
Some people can be heartless or self-centered when those around them experience trauma. People with baggage are empathetic when others struggle because they have struggled. They know that failure, hurt, and loss are an unavoidable part of life and they will help you get through it — because they’ve navigated these waters before.
5. They know what they want
Dating someone who has been married before, for instance, means dating someone who knows what they want. They know what they are not willing to put up with and which “deal-breakers” are simply minutiae when it comes to something as big as a marriage. They are educated by experience and won’t waste your time.
6. Girls with ‘baggage’ are the opposite of people with ‘drama’
When life gets tough you realize exactly how insignificant little dramatic squabbles are and how much you don’t care about them. Your loved ones are alive? Your relationship is working? You have a roof over your head? Great. That’s really all that matters to a girl who’s been through something tough.
7. She will love and accept you for who you are
Just like she doesn’t have time for drama, the girl with baggage doesn’t have time to worry about someone else’s superficial flaws. They aren’t the girl chasing random guys anymore. They are mature and they will judge you by your substance, not your stature.