I don’t love her but I’m too weak to let her go

I cheat because even though I’m tired of her shit and her own cheating, I still find myself attached to her. I guess I still see her as mine, and it would be painful to know other guys are banging her if I let her go. But at the same time I don’t feel any loyalty to her, partly because of her lack of loyalty and partly because I resent her for some of the ways she’s treated me. Not to say I’m a victim – I’m not. One always has a choice to leave. Lately as my resentment has gotten stronger I’ve started being the asshole.

Next, I’m waiting to find another girl to form a relationship with before I dump her, so that I can make the process of dumping her less painful for myself (everytime I have tried, it has been extremely difficult as I am prone to anxiety attacks). I guess I just don’t want to be alone. I’ve noticed this one a lot in other cheaters, mostly females but some males too.

Finally, I just don’t love her anymore and I see her a friend, partly due to my resentment against her.