There’s nothing more demeaning or infantilizing to me as a woman than when people talk about how women are “their own worst enemies” because we don’t support each other.
I’m not an “enemy” of Kierkegaard because I think some of the things he says are full of shit. Disagreement is healthy and natural.
All the women in my life are supportive of me, or else they wouldn’t be in my life. Are women I’m not aquatinted with hard on me or petty at times? Yes. But so are men. That’s par for the course of existence–not everyone will agree with you or think you are the greatest person in history. It’s not pettiness, it’s personal preference, it’s reality.
All women are not flawless. All women are not princesses who can do nothing wrong. We are fallible human beings–just like men.
Equality means accepting this instead of insisting that there is no wrong choice a woman can make by virtue of her gender. Women are humans. Not all humans make awesome choices. Some women suck because some humans suck. It’s okay to talk about this.
There’s no more fighting among women that there is among men, but men on men hating is just viewed as human on human where the cultural voices at large insist on making arguments against a woman about women as a whole. The oppression that occurs as a result of this is not because women are holding women back–it is oppression by elevation–the idea that women are so great that there’s no reason for a woman not to support every other woman.
Or, worse, that we aren’t capable of handling the criticism that comes with making choices because we are too delicate and fragile. That’s so not equality.
I don’t want to be handled with kid gloves. I want to be treated like every other person. Don’t let me win because I’m a girl, don’t stop yourself from criticizing my arguments or my life choices because you want to “support women.” Support women, please, but do it by assuming they can handle a challenge.