1. They get shit done
They aren’t about excuses or making everything perfect. Bossy girls aren’t afraid of the nitty gritty, do-what-it-takes, less than glamorous details it takes to pull a project off. They are in-demand–the person people turn to when they need to count on someone.
2. They are smart
Bossy girls know that there will always be naysayers. You will never make everyone happy all the time and if you are– you are doing something that can never make a difference because it is so uncontroversial it has already been done hundreds of thousands of times, long enough for it to be completely socially accepted. They know that the smartest thing to do isn’t to focus on how people perceive you, but to focus on doing what they believe in and take people’s reactions with a giant grain of salt.
3. They are trailblazers
When you upset people enough for them to call you something (they think is) negative, like bossy, you are doing something right. You’re living outside of the box of sweet, nice, traditional that they’ve assigned to you.
4. They are strong
Bossy girls aren’t waiting around for white knights to whitewash the world for them. They aren’t hiding until the world is safe for them. They are claiming their place and making it safe for themselves. They don’t run away from adversity–the embrace it–they conquer it.
5. They are leaders
No one wants to follow someone who is afraid of her own shadow–that would hear criticism and blindly say “You know what? You’re right, I’m going to back down.” Leaders are people who inspire you to do better, part of that is inspiring the way you handle your own criticism. Stick to your guns, others are not automatically right just because they are disagreeing with you.
6. They are the ones who really effect change
I pointed out this gif set before, because I think it’s such a powerful example of feminism the way I would like to see it done. I think a typical feminist or social justice enthusiast would look at this and say “We need to make a change, we need to make it so that people do not feel entitled to equate a woman with sex. Lauren Conrad isn’t on this show to talk about sex, why can’t we ask her questions about her business?” And their campaign would go on about trying to get people to change their minds and ‘educate’ them or something.
What LC did, however, is so much more powerful. She worked within a flawed system to empower herself. She taught people how she expects them to treat her rather than outsourcing that work to a social justice movement. And I think her approach was so much more effective, look at how viral this gif is, people will remember and be impacted by it.
7. They are healthy
There’s no quicker path to unhappiness than to stake all your self worth on what other people tell you, or how they perceive you. Healthy people know that their happiness comes from within, not from external circumstances.
8. They don’t want to restrict the freedoms others
Sure some people will think little girls who exhibit leadership qualities are bossy. They might even tell them so. Guess what? This is America. You are entitled to your (wrong) opinion. The answer to our problems will never, ever be banning someone’s thoughts or expression. That’s lazy. Let’s prove them wrong so they don’t want to say it in the first place.
9. They make people think
You can have all sorts of standards and laws that define what “acceptable” behavior is–or you can force people to define it for themselves. This causes them to think, reflect, and act on what they have considered, rather than spoonfeeding a worldview to them. It’s encouraging people to authentically believe and act vs. shaming them into acting a way they may not, yet, believe in.