5 Things People Say On The Internet To Appear Intelligent (Which Actually Make Them Seem Stupid)

1. “Selling out”

There is a weird dynamic with writers and artists where they think money and “quality” are mutually exclusive. It’s insane. Can you imagine any other industry where these two concepts are divorced? Where a doctor has more street cred because her practice is circling the drain? What is it about creative skills that assume the absence of business sense?

2. People who think listicles are ruining intelligence/the world

People thought that Jackson Pollock was ruining art too. Just because something is different, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Just because Hemingway was a great writer from the past and he had a certain style and a specific idea about what “quality” was doesn’t mean this is the only kind of thing we should judge to be good or valuable forever and ever until the end of time. Open up your mind. Or, if you are going to be upset about lists, at least make a criticism that isn’t “this is a list and lists aren’t accepted by the people I rely on to tell me what is Important.”

3. People who think satire they are offended by isn’t “good” satire

Newsflash: good satire is always offensive in it’s own time. The more offended you are by the joke, the better the writer is doing their job: making you feel uncomfortable in order to explore your thoughts on a particular subject.

4. Complaining about clickbait

Take it from someone who thinks about internet traffic all day, every day: clickbait isn’t really a thing anymore. There are more important and useful metrics people are using and I feel like no one has told all these people who are still stuck on this concept of being “baited” for what they must consider to be an extremely valuable and rare click.

Clicks are common. They are not special or hard to come by. They are like breathing. No one is “breathe-baiting” you.

Yes, think about what is “clickable” when you want to tell a story. But, why wouldn’t you? If I’m going to spend the time writing something for the internet, it’s doing my ideas a disservice if I don’t consider the most interesting angle from which to discuss it (see also: writing in list form). However, a one time click on an article is boring, not sexy, and not something I think smart people are really interested in anymore.

5. Assuming someone is hiding if they are anonymous

Every time I get a writer to talk about a socially unaccepted topic like being a sugar baby or a prostitute or whatever, they use a pen name or write it anonymously. This has ZERO to do with how proud or embarrassed they are of their actions and EVERYTHING to do with how they are culturally perceived. We, as a culture, are not ready for their jelly. To use relationship-speak, it’s not them, it’s you.