50 Women On ‘What Men Get Wrong About Hooking Up’

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

1.

Arthropody:

Arousal begins in the mind. Start your seduction before any clothing comes off.

2.

Obliosmom:

Begin every day thinking “How can I make my partner’s life a little easier?”, then follow through on those ideas. Feeling appreciated and cared for is an incredible aphrodisiac for most women.

3.

spage6:

a little bit of dirty talk can go a really, really long ways toward her orgasm. Describing what you want to do to her, what you want her to do to you, etc. during foreplay can get her wet before you even touch any of her naughty parts.

4.

[deleted]:

Don’t try to stay silent, we want to know if you’re enjoying it so don’t hold back at all

5.

MoishePurdue:

I think a LOT of bad sex behavior is a result of having to be quick and quiet during earlier years. I wish it was something people talked about more.

6.

TLDRFORTHEPEOPLE:

That it’s all about orgasm. I read one comment on reddit not so long ago where someone explained it perfectly, but unfortunately I seem to have lost it. Sex IS NOT about coming, although that’s a big part of it too of course. But please don’t make it THE thing. I think many guys are thinking way too much about it. Oh, now I remember some parts of that comment. “Don’t ask me afterwards if I came, ask if I want to keep on going”.

7.

memorex10:

If achievable, orgasms are an important part of sex. However, it should never be a race to the finish line.

8.

The_Unoriginal:

Shakespeare put the climax in the third act of all of his plays; if that says anything.

9.

[deleted]:

Porn cunnilingus is poor form. Don’t keep your face away and use just the tip of your tongue. You gotta get all up in that stuff.

10.

scubsurf:

I have found that it helps to think of the entire vagina (the external elements, in this case) in basically the same way you think of your penis.

My penis is just one thing, and most of the attention can be focused on it, without having to really worry about if anything is being neglected, but for a woman, you shouldn’t just focus on one thing.

The first couple of times I went down on a chick, I figured it was analogous to how they go down on me. Find one thing, focus on that, she comes buckets, and you win at sex.

I’ve gotten much better responses when I think of the whole organ as a focal point, with each of it’s subsections needing their own attention, though in different amounts depending on her mood and state of arousal. Of course you want to give her clit some love, but it is also important to pay attention to the labia minora and majora, and you can multi-task sort of if you apply intermittent pressure to the clit with your lips while you focus on other things with your tongue. You can elaborate from here on your own, but don’t forget that, as you gauge her responses and act according to those, generally you will get better responses by “spreading the love.”

Hopefully if I’m off at all someone will correct me, but when I started to really consider the differences between our genitalia, it made it easier for me to understand how to perform better.

11.

[Deleted]:

Your fingers aren’t penises. Do not ram them in and out like your penis. Wiggle them around inside her instead and rub the clitoris at the same time.

12.

ShutupBiz:

Most of the good stuff with your fingers/hands happens on the outside anyway (at least for me and those I’ve talked to). I hate it when a guy and I start to get intimate and after like two seconds he rams his fingers up there or goes all jack hammar on me. SLOW DOWN.

13.

AutomaticallyManual:

Simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation = amazing.

14.

P2000Camaro:

G spot: Insert fingers, curl them. Pretend you are telling someone to “come over here”.. The g-spot feels kind of “rippley” for lack of a better word…

15.

Beautiful_rival:

wash your balls I love giving blow jobs it’s one of my favorite things, but I’m not about to put sweaty, smelly balls in my mouth. If you need to excuse yourself to wash them before I get started do it, just don’t whine about not getting blown if you don’t.

16.

Sharvara:

At least trim, please.

17.

Shit_The_Fuck_Yeah:

A few tips:

1) Shave your balls; they will smell less.

2) Do you use cologne or aftershave? A light (cannot emphasize enough light) spray in your boxers after the shower will extend your swamp-nuts’ half-life.

3) If you have especially sweaty balls keep some baby wipes in the glove box of your car (I recommend the flushable ones). A couple quick wipes and you’re shower fresh. This also works with swamp-ass as well and feels good afterwords.

18.

cloudmerchant:

– Make her feel like a woman. I’ve never met a woman that didn’t want to be held, caressed, babied, worshiped and adored. Kiss her everywhere. Everywhere. Then repeat. There is no such thing as too much foreplay. Make her ask for it.

19.

lotus8:

Our bodies are just begging to be touched. Multiple sensations will lead us to cum faster: your penis inside us, your hands all over us, sexy grunts/moans and your warm mouth. Also, if you can reach the clit don’t hesitate to rub and caress. It throbs when it is ignored.

20.

Sagebea:

I can’t tell you how many times alright sex could have been turned into great sex just by touching me more. I would also like to add my personal favorite, in almost any position, pull my hair back and kiss my neck. Holy hell does that turn me on.

21.

Sagebea:

Some of the best down south action I’ve gotten started as “massages” with wandering hands and lips. After about 10 or 15 minutes of gentle and soft touches everywhere BUT my vagina….. needless to say, I was more than ready to go.

22.

MegansDead:

Foreplay. Foreplay is SO important. I cannot stress this enough. Have you ever tried sliding down a water slide without water? It fucking hurts. If I’m not 100% turned on, I promise, this is gonna SUCK.

Kiss me, touch me, tease me, talk dirty to me. Tell me what you want to do to me, how bad you want me, how attractive you think I am. We don’t have to get naked in the first five minutes. I would LOVE kissing for ATLEAST five minutes before anything else, and I’m sure I’m not alone. Sex + foreplay should not take just fifteen minutes all together. Slow down and enjoy it !

23.

maeEast:

1. Take everything you ever learned from porn and throw that knowledge out the window. Especially where oral is concerned. The way a porn star goes down on his female counterpart is not designed to feel good, it’s designed to look good for the camera. Rabidly flicking her clit with the very tip of your tongue from like six inches away is irritating and doesn’t feel good at all.

Stop worrying about finding some magical formula for great sex, because there really isn’t one. Everyone’s into different stuff. I’m sure there will be women here saying “dominate me”, and while some people love that, it freaks others out. Other women here will probably be saying “never ever touch my nipples”, while others can actually orgasm that way. My point is, the best thing you can do is ask your partner what she likes. This doesn’t have to come off as insecure – just say something like “let me know if you want it harder/deeper/slower/whatever, okay?”.

24.

Bearcubby17:

Kiss my neck don’t be so god damned shy about it

25.

[deleted]:

Explore her body. Touching my clit doesn’t equal orgasm.

26.

Yodaofthevag:

Kissing is not just for foreplay. Yes, some hot kissing will really get me going, but don’t stop once you get your dick where you want it to be. Kissing during makes sex feels so much more intimate and passionate. Some positions obviously don’t make kissing an easy task, so alternate between missionary/cowgirl and doggy or whatever so that your ladyfriend doesn’t feel like nothing more than a toy for you to pound in to.

27.

agentfantabulous:

I do not become instantly aroused just because your penis is hard.

28.

xLadyVirgil:

Cunnilingus. Most guys do it for 30 seconds and quit. Don’t be that guy.

29.

Cold_Hard_Throwaway:

Whatever you do, do not inflate the vagina by blowing into it.

Queef City

Population: You

30.

sylvastarr:

I can’t believe this is my first reddit comment but here goes:

1) Cut your damn nails. 2) I can’t be in charge of the foreplay all the time. 3) Or all of the kissing. 4) Or all of the anything DO SOMETHING TOO dammit.

31.

broedrost:

First two things I thought about:

The clitoris is not a scratch and win ticket. Cut your nails, and be gentle.

Don’t use our boobs as if you’re trying to find the right radio channel. Twisting them hurts. And don’t squeeze with just the fingertips, like a duck’s beak. Whole hand pls.

32.

sparebuttons:

I don’t know about other girls, but I personally don’t like overstimulation of my clit. It starts to hurt after a while, you know that feeling you get when someone draws on the same spot on your back for too long? now multiply that by 100 for sensitivity. Also, pay more attention to the boobs. Lick them, kiss them, caress them, gently blow on them. Watching a man worship my tits like that and make eye contact is super erotic and makes me as wet as New Orleans. On the point of eye contact, it can be super hot. Bite my lip, pull back and look at me, gaze up when you’re going down on me, gauge my reaction as I do to you when I please you. Kiss me hard when you’re cumming, super intense. Super hot. I need alone time, now.

33.

JustOneIndividual:

Clean your fucking room. We don’t want to get naked and do an intimate act like that in a pigsty. Groom you’re room the same way you groom yourself. Clean it, make it smell good. Seriously, you have a clean room and you are clean, and everything smells good you don’t even have to be that good looking to come off as sexy.

34.

[deleted]:

Orgasms are for everyone, boys. I can’t count the amount of guys I’ve slept with who have gotten off first, then thought that the show was over. I have needs too!

35.

LetterThree:

Just because you guys don’t get us girls off doesn’t mean we didn’t enjoy it. It still feels great, and despite never having gotten to that point, I keep begging for more.

36.

AwesomeSauce137:

When a woman says “Right there, dont stop” that means DO NOT MOVE. This means DONT move, DONT speed up, DONT slow down. do not do a single thing other than what you were doing when she said it.

37.

FrankieMcGigglefits:

Don’t let porn be your guidelines for lovemaking.

38.

The_mrs:

That alphabet thing? Don’t do it.

39.

plasticitsfantastic:

shower

do not over-cologne yourself, I’m looking at you europeans! I can smell that acqua di geo from a mile away…

manscape. shave it, trim it, wax it. I don’t care, the only time I want to floss is after a porterhouse. not your porterhouse.

taking charge is h-o-t hot. I’m taking about physically moving us how you want us. lets us know you know what you want, and know how to go about getting it.

the courtesy of offering the girl to spend the night should just be common logic.

15 minutes of foreplay minimum. do you start the game without a warm up lap and basic stretching? didn’t think so.

if you insert your finger inside of her and make a “come hither” motion (so the index finger is motioning toward you if you are facing the woman) you will feel a ridge, walnut like texture and then…don’t stop

during missionary it feels great if you prop a pillow under your woman’s hips so that her bottom torso/pelvis is elevated, the sensation is much better and you get deeper penetration

afterward you simply must cuddle with her. if you turn away and fall asleep you will die penniless and alone. penniless and alone.

being rough is great, hair pulling and all that. HOWEVER if you ever do this in public you’ll get a martini to the face. lady in the streets | freak in the sheets, this you must respect.

if you’re going to drink, please know your limits. whiskey dick is no fun for you and definitely no fun for me. if I wanted linguini I’d go to olive garden amiright ladies.

like many people said, vary the pace and when it’s getting good take it away for a minute just to tease her (now I am referencing rhcp…) and then give it to her a little bit deeper. taking something away makes her want it more, so make her beg for it a little.

if you want further reading I’d suggest picking up a cosmopolitan magazine (I believe this fine and highly respectable journal is available globally). There used to be a special section called “for guys”. I always read GQ to find out the latest recommendations on cigars and booze, and for your guys’ secrets too! so this should work just as well…

40.

jadenray64:

This isn’t really sex, but a french kiss doesn’t mean shoving your tongue in someones mouth. There’s something to be said for portion control.

41.

hexebart:

Ask me what I want.

42.

some_watery_tart:

It’s ok to laugh. Someone is going to get a leg cramp, fart, get their tongue ring stuck down there, use a Cosmo sex tip, or any number of other hilarious things could happen, and just because I’m laughing doesn’t mean I’m laughing at your penis.

43.

MamaXerxes:

I know it can be hard work to make your lady reach that big O, but please please please don’t express exasperation/fatigue/boredom while you are working on her.

44.

SaintRabbit:

If you have facial hair, please don’t ram your face into my vagina. It hurts when the little hairs poke down there. It’s a delicate area and the skin is soft. Believe it or not, small little cuts can be quite uncomfortable.

45.

cupcakesandpuff:

So much of sex is mental. Yes, you might be well endowed or good looking, but that’s not enough to put me over the edge. I want you to whisper in my ear. I want you to touch my body. I want you to keep kissing me even when you’re inside me. Passion makes everything feel amazing.

46.

pumamedula:

Hold us. I love love love when I am on top and my boyfriend wraps his arms around me, squeezes me, and runs his hands up and down my back. Ass grabs are nice too. Also, make sure you talk to your SO. Ask her what she likes.

47.

nataleeyuhh:

first and foremost, women are not like men. it takes us longer to get to our full potential. don’t rush it and take your damn time. do this: kiss my entire body, make me feel like I’m the fucking sexiest woman, tease me, bite me, grab my ass like you mean business. all women are different and don’t assume they’re all the same. take your time experimenting to find out what she likes. you might even show her something she didn’t even know she liked!

48.

xxraven:

i dont know about some people but for me moaning is the sexiest fucking thing ever its like a switch to activate the horney hyper drive! Boys it doesnt need to be break window groaning but a slight moan a gasp smt to let us know ur enjoying this is better the dead starfish sex!

49.

tollegal:

Here’s my number one tip: talk to each other about sex when you’re not having sex.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years, and talking outside the bedroom about our sex life has done as much or maybe more to improve our sex life than all the practice we’ve gotten in the bedroom.

50.

regeya:

TL;DR all women are different. TC mark

Want more sexy TC reads? Find our favorites here.

Read more real-life romantic confessions in our best-selling ebook here.

TC Site

Related

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2013/09/50-women-on-%e2%80%98what-men-get-wrong-about-sex%e2%80%99-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex […]

  • http://setoshino.wordpress.com Setoshino

    Reblogged this on The World Without Us.

  • http://mydatinglifesuckstoo.wordpress.com Emily Emerson

    Reblogged this on My Dating Life Sucks Too and commented:
    Some good stuff in here.

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-15-most-popular-thought-catalog-posts-from-last-week/ The 15 Most Popular Thought Catalog Posts From Last Week | Thought Catalog

    […] 50 Women On ‘What Men Get Wrong About Sex’ […]

  • http://primalnights.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/text-sep-10-2013-758-a-m/ Text, Sep 10, 2013 7:58 a.m. | Primal Night's

    […] 50 Women On ‘What Men Get Wrong About Sex’ (thoughtcatalog.com) […]

blog comments powered by Disqus