If you work in an office with other people, you might need to save this until you get home. Cry laughing at your desk is not that professional.
You may need to call your mom and tell her you love her after reading this.
“Official” Definition: Anyone you would never marry or date, but would fuck into the Andromeda galaxy.
Bottom Line: A girl you have sexual relations with. The insinuation is that you have little to no emotional attachment with them. Many a Frat Bro yearns for the perfect slam piece.
Notable Example: Most of the girls who guest starred in Seinfeld.
A reality driven translation guide for those weird things about the other gender you never got to ask.
Christopher: Is a catcall EVER the least bit flattering? Does the attractiveness of the caller play into how obnoxious or gratifying it is?
Chelsea: No it’s not, because no dude you would ever be interested in would do that. Even if he were cute (and they never are), you would immediately lose all respect for him immediately if he just started yelling shit at you while you were trying to walk to work. Compliments from a cute guy are one thing, catcalling is something completely different and totally unwanted.
Like most Michael Koh articles, this post pairs well with a bottle of Pinot Noir, locked doors and a nagging feeling that the call is coming from inside the house.
Was playing Kinect one night. It detected a second player. I was alone.
I love asking people what words, books or experiences have changed their life in a big way. It’s always a great story and hopefully, there’s a piece you can apply to your own life. It’s like skipping levels in Mario.
Take care of yourself first, then help others around you (as said by every flight attendant).
The final installment in Rachel Hodin’s hot vs. ugly celebrity series. If you’re not into her ode to the ugly-hot woman, check out #2 on 11 People Who Need To Stop Talking.
“Khloe is the prettiest Kardashian hands down!” I insightfully critiqued while keeping up with the Kardashians. This fact is sort of like The Pope’s prestige. You’re not sure why this is the case, other than the fact that it is and no one questions it.
Fact: we ALL have a Brad.
Brad is the friend of your high school friend’s college roommate, who for some inexplicable reason will show up on your radar way too frequently. You can’t tell whether he’s incredibly insecure, or simply just a giant dick. But he’s always there, and he never uses a coaster. A stain that’s never coming off the coffee table.
Eventually though, he grows on you–it’s your only choice really. You kinda need a Brad.
No matter who you are in life and what you want to accomplish, being attractive is incredibly important. People want to date/work with/be friends with the people they perceive as having the best personality. That’s attraction.
2. Be working towards a goal.
Whether it’s working for a promotion, studying to further your education, training for a marathon, or anything else that requires actual commitment, it’s sexy. Maybe it indicates responsibility. Maybe it makes you seem like you have higher standards. Then again, maybe it’s just attractive to care about more than “why didn’t you call me back?”
I haven’t seen this concept talked about before. It’s a weird fact of life that your whole reality can do a 180 in just one day, and sometimes you don’t even know that day has passed until years later.
5. One day the universe will take from you someone who is incredibly important. A parent, a friend– it doesn’t matter who, it only matters that it was unexpected. And it’s the first time you realize we’re not all unbreakable. For the first time, people take on a new fragile existence, and you appreciate them. You love them just for being.
Love changes from your teens, when everything is new, to your 20’s when all of a sudden people start coming with significant exes. A beautiful essay by a brand new Thought Catalog contributor, Zach Schwartz.
And this feeling doesn’t go away. You realize that somebody has already landed and left a flag on this person’s heart. You start to feel that this person and their ex shared a bond that you two will never have. And against your will, against your happiness, you start to put their ex on a pedestal, thinking they’re more beautiful or smart or talented than you are.
If you’re crazy and insecure like me, you start to wonder why in hell this person is dating you. That if they had the chance, and the circumstances were right, they would just go back to their ex. And you keep thinking, and you keep thinking, and you start to feel sorry for who you are.
1. You’re lonely. They’re there. But you don’t think of it that way. They’re kind, and they soothe all your heart’s dents with their pretty smiles and warm hands and shallow promises of forever. You know it’s not right, but you know it’s right now, and you’re okay with loving someone like that for the time being.
I made everyone in the TC office help me brainstorm this list. It was so fun to think of easy little things you could do to make your day one you’ll remember–and refreshing to rack my own memory and realize how simple some of my best days have been this year. Going to a new bar, taking a scenic walk, getting a random compliment–these small things had a big ROI. Try to do one of these things every day this week, or see how many you can cram into 24 hours.
25. Join Vine. Follow Tyra Banks.
Dating can be the funnest activity in the world. It’s like being in a character in a romantic comedy everyday. However (as any romantic comedy character would also tell you) dating sucks. Here’s 9 reasons you’ll get angry while dating.
2. They’re constantly checking their phone when they are with you.
If they do this, how important could you be to them?
I think the important thing to remember is that people are different. Men and women “heat up” at varying speeds and have different ideas about what great sex is. And within each gender, people like different things. Just ask questions, try stuff and pay attention to what they seem to enjoy.
Make her feel like a woman. I’ve never met a woman that didn’t want to be held, caressed, babied, worshiped and adored. Kiss her everywhere. Everywhere. Then repeat. There is no such thing as too much foreplay. Make her ask for it.
Could not make myself stop laughing at this one. Actually, I’m still laughing. Hudspeth kills me.
You don’t like McDonalds breakfast apparently, because it’s no longer serving by the time you get up, which is McNever a good sign. Unless you work night shifts, in which case you get a pass from these next few points, you should probably be waking up before 11am on most days.
Last week we published the emails between two Thought Catalog writers with views as disparate as they come. The result, Unedited Dialogue: A Trans* Woman And A Willfully Non-PC Man, is a staff favorite.
Double Secret Bonus
Have you seen ‘9 Hudspeth Selfies Because, Why Not?‘