Jr. High. Report card came in the mail. I failed algebra. Was living with grandparents at the time. Grandpa is retired military. From upstairs I heard grandma ask why he was shutting the windows. His reply: “So the neighbors don’t call the cops.”
Just a few days ago, my first time going rafting and my group and I were about to get in the raft and all the instructors kept saying, “Wow this is the roughest water I’ve seen in seven years!” No biggie, lets go rafting bitches! Ended up being caught between two currents and flipping over. I was stuck under the raft for about 2 minutes until I was finally yanked out and dragged through the river until I hit a rock and climbed on top. The entire time my only thought was “well..this is how I die.” Turns out a woman in my group did die. She hit her head under water, passed out, and drowned.
Watching my cruise ship leave port while i’m still ashore in vietnam. Luckily the next stop was only 6 hours away by land…
Me and my coworker were looking though the trade magazine (we worked at a radio station) and started to see all of our station equipment for sale along with our bosses number as the contact.
When I hit a patch of black ice and lost complete control of my car. Everything I learned in drivers ed and everything my dad ever taught me just blanked out of my mind like a blue screen of death. I just kinda sat back and went “Well shit…” before hitting the side of the road and flying through the air for 15 ft before rolling my car 3 times. It rolled from front to back at one point and busted out the windows and packed me in with snow so I was basically protected with packing peanuts. When I came to I got out of the car without any harm done to me. The lady who stopped to help yelled out to me “Ma’am are you okay?” and I just shouted back “MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME! MY INSURANCE WILL GO UP!”
Opened my mouth to talk and nothing but garbled mumbling came out. Stroke, early 30s age. fml.
The night before returning from a trip abroad with one of our kids, I fixed my wife’s email pop account at her request. In so doing I discovered that she had started having an affair while I was away.