18.
My dad got stuck on the median of Park Ave with John Lennon who was crossing the other way. My dad said “Surprised to see you here” and John answered, “well I’m surprised to see YOU here”. Then they just walked there separate ways.
19.
Sylvester Stallone came into my Urban Outfitters and bought this coffee mug we have where the handle is brass knuckles. Actually, he bought every single one we had.
20.
I was in Long Island visiting my friend, and we had just woken up from a long night of drinking. Feeling the way that we did, we decided to go to a local deli to get some breakfast sandwiches, because that shit is the bomb. We waited in line for a while, and when the person in front of us was ordering, in walks muthafuckin BILLY JOEL. Now i’m a pretty big fan, so I have a silent freakout in my head, wondering if i should ask for an autograph or whatever. So Billy Joel grabs a gatorade, and then walks to the front of the deli line. Like, in front of me. So, the other guy is still ordering and I think that like maybe Billy Joel just wanted to look at the menu behind the counter or whatever. The guys finished ordering and pays, and then Billy Joel just fucking starts ordering like a million damn sandwiches. At this point, my irkedness at him cutting me overtakes my starstruckedness and I say “Oh hey, I think i was next man.” He turns around with the most contemptuous look on his face and says to me like I’m a piece of shit (I’ll never fucking forget this) “Well I guess now I’m next, you shit.” I just stood there with my mouth open. I didn’t know ANYONE could be that much of an asshole, let alone Billy Joel. FUCK that guy.
21.
I once had to throw Pauly Shore out of a strip club because he was snorting cocaine off of his table.
22.
I was behind Keanu Reeves at a local coffe/smoothie shop in Santa Monica, called Manny’s IIRC. When he ordered his smoothie he asked, in his best Bill and Ted voice, “Can I, um, like… Have a smoothie?”
23.
I worked at Morgan Freeman’s production company as an intern three summers ago. One day I was instructed to bring a bunch of old film cans to a storage unit. I was carrying about five or six, since I didn’t want to make two trips to the car. I get into the elevator and take it down to the garage and when the door opens all I hear is “BOO!!” I dropped all of the film cans onto the ground and one of the cans opened and the filmed spilt everywhere. I look up and Morgan Freeman is standing above me. All he says is, “Looks like you have some work to do.” He then enters the elevator whistling and closes the door. Right before the door closes, he winks.
24.
A few weeks ago, I worked for author & pick-up artist Neil Strauss. It was actually my last day on the job, even though I didn’t know it.
I was up in Malibu, waiting for the bus to take me down to Santa Monica, when a car pulls over, and the driver goes “I’m going to Santa Monica if you want a ride!”
“You’re not gonna kill me, are you?”
“No, I’m not gonna kill you.”
I get in the car and he extends his hand and asks me my name in the MOST recognizable voice ever.
I look up…it’s MARTIN FUCKING SHEEN. We shot the shit for like 45 minutes as he gave me a ride down the coast, and INSISTED upon taking me to my specific bus stop.
At the end of the ride, we chatted really briefly about Charlie (after talking about Sorkin and West Wing and me just sporting a general writing boner)…and then he told me to hang on a second.
He gave me a blessed Rosary from Jerusalem. Every bead was made from an Olive pit. He asked me (a “recovering Catholic”) to say a Hail Mary for him, and one for Charlie.
I said like six.
