The Only 5 Things I Really Notice In A Man

An honest to goodness exhaustive list of the only things I really care about in a partner. Feel confused that there are so many things OkCupid asks you when whether a man is attractive or not really only hangs on a few factors.

Not physically repulsive

I’ve had a theory that 5% of the population is ugly, 5-10% is beautiful and everyone else is in between. Every single “in between” person because nearly unbearably hot once you have a crush on them. The guy I’ve had the strongest sexual feelings about was someone one of my friends thought was “ugly.” I thought he was intoxicating. It’s totally up to who that person is to you, how you perceive them, the traits you happen to find attractive, and their personality. So, try not to be in the unfortunate bottom five percent.

Not a snob

Don’t make me feel stupid or silly for not being all high brow all the time. I like pop music and I read Cosmo. This doesn’t negate intelligence, neither does having emotions or big hair.

Do whatever the fuck you want

I like strong personalities–men and women–who do things they way they want to. For instance, I wouldn’t be put off by a guy who wasn’t traditional as long as he was happy with it. If he was doing shady things and was embarrassed about them or felt guilty, it’s unattractive. It depends entirely on his attitude. I’m friends with girls who write about their sex lives on the internet, and I’ve had to stand behind some tough tweets when asked about them by my extended family but I think it’s really important to live by your own rules and not passively accept what’s handed down.

Like to talk

I couldn’t date someone who would ever say “that’s just the way it is” or “you’re over-thinking it.” I’m a curious person, and I plan to stay that way. It’s entertainment to ask why and talk about every topic under the sun, even if (especially if) we disagree. You’re going to need to have a big brain and if it’s not in terms of content then it should be in terms of zeal and curiosity.

Be introspective

I don’t care if you are a Christian or an Agnostic or a do-gooding Atheist but you have to have some kind of means of doing mental check-ins with yourself about your life. You have to believe that it is important to be a good person–most people would agree with this but without introspective it goes unpracticed. People who are introspective like this make sense to me. I know what drives them and there is a degree of stability and predictability to their actions. I’m not sure I could ever get “comfortable” in a relationship with someone was was just wandering around in his life. TC mark

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image –Alex Grechman

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