It was a culmination of petty things. I don’t know what it’s like in the rest of the UK but the media loves putting the boot into men at every opportunity. The usual stuff really.
Every father in a sitcom, soap or advert being a bumbling manchild who is treated like dirt by his family.
“Articles” on a weekly basis about how men are useless, stupid and women don’t need them anymore, interspersed with middle-aged women talking about how pathetic their husbands were.
Being repeatedly told that because I quite like attractive women wearing minimal clothing that I’m some kind of disgusting animal.
The definite implication that I’m one heartbeat away from dragging a woman into the bushes and raping her. Because that’s what men do, right?
So I got fed up with being told what a piece of shit I am. Somehow I’m privileged at the same time. No, I’m not sure how.
I recognize lots of disadvantages that women have in society compared to men.
The important thing to me, however, is that there is a metric fuckton of organizations, people, and overall support for identifying and eliminating these issues for women but comparatively a tiny amount of the same support for men.
The weekend before last I was at a party of my friend’s friends. We were playing one of those games where everybody writes down an answer and one person guesses who wrote it. When one of the girls got to mine she said, “I know that this is none of the guys because this is girl’s handwriting – no way a man writes this good.” I like to write a lot with fountain pens and subsequently improved my penmanship a lot.
Once she chooses the wrong person I tell everybody that it was me. Everyone (especially the girls) wanted to see my handwriting and started joking that I write like a girl. At first I didn’t mind because I just took it as a compliment that I write well and I prevented this girl from getting a point.
They kept joking about it and after it was my turn to read I found this girl’s answer and made the joke, “I would have never guessed that a girl wrote this, it looks like you write like a guy.” I was just trying to go along with the joke that she started but everyone got mad at me and told me that that was really rude to say. No one laughed and even one of the guys (who was trying to get with that girl) told me that I shouldn’t make fun of a girl’s handwriting.
Am I the only one who thinks that that is weird? I talked with one of the girls afterwards and she said that it was because what the other girl said was that – “You write well like a girl” and what I said was “You write bad like a man” and because I was insulting instead of complimenting is why everyone got mad.
I don’t know – I think that is wrong that I can be the punch line of a joke and be compared to a girl but comparing a girl to a man is wrong.
Imagine this. Imagine we funded a homeless shelter for men. Imagine we funded scholarships for orphaned men. Imagine we funded safety net insurances for men who end up unable to pay their child support and who face prison for it?
Imagine that when feminists come to ask what has the MRM ever done for men, we could list all this and more. Letting them know that if they want to be remembered as equality for all, they had better start actually helping men. Otherwise it will be the MRM that will for always be remembered as the ones who were there when men were in need.
And I don’t think feminism ever will offer that help to men. And I think if the MRM rises to that need it will have done more for men than feminism ever has.
We can do it, but we have to actually do it.
In my school, a magnet school catering to artistic exploration and growth, there seems to be an overwhelming amount of sexism. Not bringing up the group of radical feminists that say all men are rapists still leaves a lot of sexism and hatred to men.
The biggest example was apparent when I got my summer reading list (which, being a procrastinator, I put off to looking at until just now). The suggested books annoy me to death. Half of them are about strong female protagonists fighting against oppression of white men. In fact, the only book with a male protagonist is “The Book Thief”.
Then there is the topics we cover in classes. When reading the book “A Separate Peace” it became a debate about whether a character was gay or not just because he was very close with another male character. When reading “Lord of the Flies” a discussion of men needing women to avoid being savages came up more than once. In my civics class, a girl did a presentation on feminism and the opening line was “women are better then men”.
It’s no surprise that boys aren’t doing as well in school and college as girls are. People are making academia such a toxic environment for boys that it’s almost expected for boys to drop out of high school at higher rates and attend college at lower numbers than girls.
I feel bad for the shit that you have to put up with, and I cringe when I recall that article in which a brain-dead woman claims that “men are raised to hate women,” rather than pointing out the divisiveness of feminism and misandry in the classroom.
I’m sure that the rampant misandry in education doesn’t contribute at all towards men growing up to become misogynists.
My teacher talked about how women were still under the patriarchy and the wage gap still had an impact on women today.
Talk about sexism. When I was at university, I had to read a book about women in science. I didn’t even think about how sexist it was at the time. The University was sexist in general. You were definitely a second class citizen if you were a man, and you definitely weren’t treated well if you didn’t know, “your place.”
Compare Jimmy Wales’s fish-shaking “we will not comply” attitude with the persistent pernickety insistence on aged “academic” sources to even specify that “rape against men” is a “men’s rights issue”
After separation, I go away with all of the debt from the marriage (Mortgage, second Mortgage, all the credit card debt). After being negative cash flow for a year after separation. The court takes 60% of my net wages, without any notification (I got a call from my employer). Shortly after I become homeless, and cannot afford to maintain the computer equipment I need to do my job.
Shortly after that I lose my job (The company shut down).
By the time I make it to trial, I am financially destitute, cannot even obtain unemployment (because of work done out of state). I can’t afford an attorney and have to stand tall, “In Pro Per”. Just before the trial my ex took a vacation to the Bahamas. I had to get a ride from a friend to make it to the trial (had to sell my car to pay attorney fees). I cited the case of Alan S. at the beginning of the trial and asked for a continuance until I could get a job and get an attorney and was told by the Judge “That ship has sailed”. The judgement overlook several laws I cited regarding equal representation.
To top it off, the Judge and opposing council took a recess during the trial so that they could meet (without telling me). The Judge interviewed opposing council for a Job on the bench, and shortly after the trial I got a letter saying they had made my ex’s attorney a court commissioner. They award my ex, over $1000 a month in Spousal support, for the rest of her life, when she has a $60,000 a year job and I am homeless and unemployed. Because I was without attorney, I was run over roughshod by the court, my evidence ignored, multiple laws ignored.
I was forced to go to court without an attorney against my will, when my ex had the best attorney in town, who was apparently in the Bro-Bra of the local court. Currently I am appealing the trial based on the meeting of the Judge and Opposing council during the trial. So far I’ve lost in the neighborhood of $250,000 in money stolen from community funds by my ex, lost income and attorney’s fees, not to mention the fact that my previously good credit has been completely destroyed.
Although I do agree with your point, there really is justification in judging feminists so harshly. The reason I say this is because of all the BS that’s been going on all over the world. From the top of my head, here’s a few things that come to mind:
Feminists shot down a bill that would keep the identities of those accused of rape in the UK private until they were charged.
Feminists in India successfully managed to make divorce a breeze for women while implementing double standard laws (something about the wife getting half or more, or the house, while this didn’t apply to the husband).
NOW sends action alerts every time there’s a bill that would kill double standards in women’s favor. Equal custody, end of alimony, etc.
Australian feminists are bat shit crazy. They’re throwing men and children under the bus (ignoring abusive mothers).
There’s gender quota’s being implemented all over the EU for women and only women. Things like 40% of executives HAVE to be women, but it doesn’t matter if 100% of them are women.
These are feminist organizations and they’re fucking it up for men all around the world. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single positive thing feminism has deliberately done for men. So when I see an entire group shitting on people like me because of my gender without ever lending a helping hand, I can’t help but (at the very least) dislike them.
Feminism invented the gender/women’s studies major, but there’s a demand for a new kind of gender studies. With the recent law in California allowing transgender students to pick their restroom, locker room, and sports team, many are raising the question of if children can determine their gender identity at such a young age. They’re asking for the science, but there simply aren’t enough people studying it.
If gender studies switched gears from misogyny and patriarchy to gender identity and development, more people could be in the field to answer those questions. A growing number of people are already tired of feminism trying to draw out the suffrage, and it’s hardly ‘gender studies’ if it only focuses on women.
Do men and women have an equal compound opportunity to both effectively pursue an intensive career and have children?
Yes, if you consider “men and women” to be joined together in a family. A family can do both. The advantage that a family has over two individuals comes from the division of labor and consequent ability to specialize.
The argument about how the division is made within the family is slanted by nature. Only women can have children. Up to recent times, this settled the argument; but now we are just – and only just – becoming rich enough so that a man could look after the kids without injuring the family finances too much. There remains the irreducible problem of him not being able to give birth, and until technology removes the barrier, there will necessarily be gaps between men and women in the way they spend and earn their time and money.
Growing up, since high school, internally I was challenged by the unfairness of things in society that placed one group of people above another group of people.
I was told that it was morally reprehensible to deny someone a job based on there race. That one of our countries great accomplishments was the ERA. In the next breath the teacher explained to me how colleges adjust test scores so they can hit racial quotas, how college grants that I wasn’t eligible for because of the color of my skin were for the benefit of society. Ultimately it was explained that I had to pay for the sins of my grandparents.
I have spent all my life wondering if I am the crazy one.
What I see in Mensrights is a desire to swing things back to a more neutral area.
At this point, Feminists are just battling strawmen.
Has anyone with any authority said ‘You deserved to be raped, look at what you’re wearing’ at any point in the last decade without getting summarily fired for it?
Modern Feminism is a lot like Fascist Germany, they run it like the Gestapo(have a differing opinion you get squashed.) I don’t see how they are not considered a hate group.
Those who say they aren’t like that really need to branch off from it, and form their own group that isn’t a hate group, from what I can tell the leaders of Feminism are vile human beings who have managed to brain wash a large portion of people into believing their hate speech. Much like another section of people in human history.
I am sincerely curious as to whether “rape apologism” is actually a thing.
I mean, when the Steubenville case was exposed, I heard the “oh these poor boys, their lives are ruined now” thing on the news but that seemed to have been met with a widespread “what the actual fuck?” response from men and women alike.
I don’t personally know anybody who thinks the real tragedy of Steubenville is the poor boys’ ruined football careers. Where are these people hiding? Where do I find them? Apparently this attitude is endemic, but I have yet to encounter anybody who actually thinks/feels this way.
the womens movement in the 1960’s was about equal rights , and the won, feminism is about installing systematic bigotry and calling it equality. Funny thing is the system are installing / have installed is even more unfair then the one the woman’s movement fought against.
i just hate to see people treated unfairly by various power groups and i see no reason why i should shut up when the victims are straight, white males. Fuck, if i can complain about Oscar Grant’s murder why can’t i also complain that few blacks in his situation are female? If i can slag off some turd for being a homophobe why can’t i slag off Sharon Osborne for being a misandrist? Call me crazy, but injustice and bigotry give me the shits, regardless of who the target is.
I grew up under the veil of “Women are perfect” which I learned at home, through relatives, at school, media (both local and international), etc.
How I woke up? The main one was moving to another country and realizing how I have been cheated by my education, how many lies I had been told, how many of my failures started to make sense and how was in my hand to turn it around
For me it’s been a whole bunch of reasons at one; hearing family members losing opportunities to see their kids even though they are great dads. Having germaine Greer given airtime on political discussions I usually enjoy watching and seeing people agree with her when she says a father hugging kids is “sexualising” them. Having depression as a man and realising its a lot less well accepted, since I’m not able to show emotion in society. Bringing up said depression with women who said I’m a man what do I have to be depressed about? Being told I’m priveleged even though I hold no personal power over anyone and no political party is actually looking out for my interests.
I personally witnessed a false rape accusation I knew to be 100 percent false and the ensuing kangaroo court.
More than society and institutional reaction and procedure the fact that the woman would go to such lengths over a lie and actively damage another person’s life was the real wake up call. Now I try to give people the other perspective. It’s not that victims should not be given support but that all situations and alleged events should be investigated properly and professionally. I don’t want anyone to get raped and nor do I want anyone to ever be falsely accused because both happen.
I remember seeing double standards everywhere that noone would even notice or address. I could tell that a lot of men were as tired of it as I was, but they didn’t dare speak up at all. I specifically remember walking home from school in around 2001 thinking it over, and reaching the conclusion that feminism has lead to all the hatred of men I saw in the newspapers, and that the constant “All women are angels” barrage I had been forced to swallow was bullshit.
When I was reading a book about boys being biased againat in school and how it directly gives girls unfair advantage over boys. As I read, I thought about my own experience and how true it was. How the female teachers my ENTIRE LIFE had been telling me and my friends that we werent as smart, as good, as hard working, as important as the girls and how I actually began to believe it even though I saw my girl piers being sneaky, passive-aggressive, bullies, illogical, and even if the vast majority obviously werent as good as the boys, they were still held on a pedestal and given better grades because of how amazingly superior they were.
Then, trying to talk about htis with ‘feminists’ and to be told how I was a sexist, a rape apologist, a misognyist who needed to look in the mirror and realize how privileged I was. I have never felt privileged, in fact I feel the opposite. The princesses have always had it made in the shade at my expense.
Even when I worked harder and performed better, I was a boy and girls are always smarter and better. I became used to it.
All the men in my family died before I was born. It’s been a fight, sometimes literally, for me to be where I am today whilst carrying a bunch of bickering women who think they dictate how the world turns on my back.
When I was a kid the teachers always said boys were dumb and that left an impression on my 8 year old self.
I was unknowingly an MRA even as a very little 3 or 4 year old kid wondering how the hell “ladies first” was even remotely fair. And everything just kept getting worse and worse from there. Why was everything about separating boys and girls? Why did they have to wear different clothes? Why did they have to go to separate bathrooms? Why were they treated differently all the time – by parents, teachers, adults? There was no difference in the boys and girls in my group of friends until adults started making it a point that they were different. I watched as my peers began to shift to fit the molds they were given. And the whole time, I wondered how hypocritical it was of adults to keep touting fairness and this majestic rise of “feminism” and “civil rights” movement, all the while watching the same adults continue to reinforce a billion stereotypes between men and women.
I’ve always been observant and a skeptic so the usual feminist bullshit which was thrown at me never stuck. I could plainly see, from a young age, that the world was not fair and certainly men had their share of gender problems.
Throughout my life I’ve had my share of events which personally affected me because I am a man. I was circumcised against my will at birth.
Growing up, I was constantly in trouble in school because of “acting out” and put on ADHD medication; I don’t have ADHD and my school and mother pressured a psychiatrist to diagnose me as such. Looking back, I was never that poorly behaved.
I have suffered from depression since my late teens; it robbed me of what should’ve been some of my best years. I lost my home because I was forced to live with my mother who moved me away from what few friends I had to live with her new boyfriend after divorcing my father. I dropped out of the new High School I was put into due to said depression. I was never treated for depression. It was never offered.
After finally getting my diploma at the age of 22, my thoughts turned to college which I could not afford and no grant except the Pell Grant was available. Plenty if you’re Mexican, Puerto Rican, Black, Native American, or a woman.
Then of course there’s the usual “man up” shit you hear, even from your own family, when you struggle to make something of your life. My story is hardly unique or notable, and many have had it worse – but it’s no less significant in my opinion. The complete lack of compassion or awareness for a man’s personal problems has affected me since the day I was born. There were times in my life when somebody simply asking me if I’m OK or acting like a loved one or a friend should would’ve made all the difference.
I’m an MRA because we have needed a voice for a long time now.
It was evident from the first day that girls were treated better boys and rewarded for their girly behaviour while boys were constantly chastised for being normal boys.
For me it was a lifetime of being told men and women are supposed to be equal yet women always seem to get a free pass where men don’t or get some other form of special treatment which elevates them from being equal to being superior.
I never really bought into “male privilege,” it seemed pretty obvious that men didn’t really have it any better than women did, and I felt like there were a lot of serious issues facing men and boys that were being ignored. I became an anti-Feminist when I found out that whole “77% for doing equal work” thing they drilled into my head over and over was actually a giant load of propaganda and lies. Really no choice but to oppose a movement that decides their central issue is going to be based on a blatant lie.
it is becoming more apparent that heterosexual men in general are not allowed to express their sexuality without often being labeled a creep or disgusting. Some overzealous feminists go as far as to label all men potential rapists with uncontrollable sexual urges. Even what was once socially appropriate means of expressing interest in a woman (introducing yourself at a bar, online dating, looking briefly at a pretty woman) is now often met with negative reactions. No wonder many guys have resolved themselves to sitting at home playing video games and watching porn when it is safer to do so than risking being personally demonized for natural biological functions.
The way I see it, this is basically a collective blackmailing scheme for women: first you perpetuate the traditional male role requiring men to initiate everything by refusing to do it yourself, then you make it criminal (literally or figuratively) for them to actually do that, then you let men push each other into committing “crimes” (viz. approaching women, making the first move, etc) with the help of an eager consumerist media that glorifies women and female sexuality to derange and sexually manipulate its viewers.
The result is that we’re all made into criminals, and women gain the power to punish us (with the state or a sympathetic public as their proxy agent), without having to concede anything.
Not only that, but feminists will try to tell you that male sexuality is celebrated while female sexuality is shunned. Quite the opposite, actually.
Gender roles hurt everyone.
Society is in a transitional stage. The old patriarchal world where the man was the provider and defender has collapsed as women entered the workplace. But, as a society, we haven’t fully grasped the concept of equality, as evidenced by the fact that men are still expected to pay for dinner and so forth.
There needs to be a feminism for men, a masculism, that’s really focused on dismantling male gender roles. Imho, the MRM is not that movement yet because it’s way too concerned with hating on feminism and is ambivalent about traditional gender roles.
I think it was mostly due to sexism in my school environment. Guys always get punished, girls rarely. Although I hate using this word I have been oppressed for being a white male. Black guy beats you up? Sorry we can’t help. Girl tries to pull you off monkey bars? Why did you fight back? Go to the principal!! Fuck man. Its just not fair the way it is. Not to mention that in my entire school career (7 years), I have had 2 male teachers. For a while I was brainwashed into the shit I’m now against. I thought it was my fault and it was a source of depression.
Where men’s rights comes in is that we have made great efforts to solve things for women (I think this is wonderful!) but we ignore men’s needs. Partly because we believe men are so powerful and can just out man any problem, while women are seen as vulnerable and needing of support. Neither of these are true all the time.
When I realized that feminists support male circumcision, deny that women rape and abuse men, and teach little boys to be ashamed of their own masculinity.
When after I paid the rent and my gf randomly hooks up with a guy she met.. comes home after text arguments.. we argue.. she calls police. Police come and nothing had happened physically between us. Rent is in her name and I get to go to jail for the night .. next day am homeless and no money in my fucking pocket because I paid the rent. Takes a few days before I can get a place without going to the “mens shelter” because that place was repulsive and I would rather live under the bloody bridge then go there. I managed to hold onto my job whilst having no place outside of the “mens shelter”.. all women need do is point a finger. I was lucky she didn’t bullshit charge me with assault of some sort. Fact she didn’t is only a testament to the fact I had done nothing.
Womens shelters look like apartments .. mens shelter is one big room with a bunch of beds where regular homeless people stay permanently and it’s fucking pathetic a man is expected to suffer the humiliation of having to go there if need be.
This is systemic sexism .. apparently men are not any sort of victim ever. It was a real eye opener when the reaction of my co workers who were actually all seemingly good friends and liked me .. they felt bad but offered no refuge. If I was a woman.. things would have been a hell of a lot more accommodating.
EDIT: Essentially society has a massive amount of contempt for men who need help.. while women are given everything they need.. and some. I faced systemic discrimination and social contempt. None of what occurred was my doing and .. I just had to deal with it or go to the mens homeless shelter which I did not deserve to have to deal with. Something I should have mentioned in my post above .. I dared her to call the police.. and she did.. put myself in the backseat of a police car and did nothing but suffer abuse the whole night. Don’t gamble on the system to protect you, if your a man it won’t.
I used to be a feminist (i.e., pro women’s rights, thought women were oppressed, wanted to help out, but never really actively engaged).
Then I became a student councillor, where most debates were extremely boring. Then came an event and two new policies which turned my eye.
First the event was the woman’s councillor deciding she was going to use the women’s bus to get home because it was cheap (like 50p/£1), I joked I was going to get it too then. She then proceeded to angrily tell me that I was in no need for it and it wasn’t for me. I protested, I said, why not, I could get raped too, (I wish I said mugged now).
Gender quotas, so a minimum of 50% women would be voted to represent us. This meant a maximum of 50% men could go. And if the probability of either being picked was genuinely 50/50, this would mean that a women is 2x as likely to be voted in as a man. I naturally thought this was wrong, spoke up (pretty much for my first time in council) and was the sole person to speak up, and was basically mocked and told how sexist I am, and how I am against women’s rights. (A few, 2/3, guys actually came up at the interval and thanked me for speaking up.
Next they tried to ban Chris Brown music due to him attacking Rihanna, again I protested by saying that why should only Chris Brown music be banned, when other people who commit crime aren’t being banned. And why on earth are we, as a union banning music?
Other things such as, why was there no men’s councillor/officer gave me other reasons to get more involved.
This basically led me to question whether feminism was really trying to get equality or just trying to get as much as possible for women and why it would let men be treated less than equal in the search for ‘equality’. This made me look towards how else I was being mistreated (on top of well known stuff like father’s for justice) and how stuff like gender quotas are ever ok. The more I found out, the more interested I got, the more aware I got. Then I started learning how many issues was directly caused my feminism, especially by rad fems. I now research for new information on men’s issues most nights.
Because I support human rights and men are human beings.
I browsed here for a while but there was about a week where the grassy areas surrounding the main bike paths at my school were covered in insipid anti-rape 8’x4′ “billboards” that were very women-can’t-rape like. The thing is, I wasn’t even that mad that they were poorly thought out, used blatantly false statistics, and were somewhat misandrist, and were just fucking dumb in general.
What I hated was that I had to be reminded of fucking rape every fucking morning as soon as I woke up and rode my bike to class. I can’t imagine what that would have triggered in someone who had actually experienced sexual assault.
That anger made me very anti-feminist and I have been that way since. Granted, I do support women’s rights but there’s just so much stupid shit like those billboards. A fucking billboard isn’t going to stop anyone from getting raped it’s just going to make the 30,000 students that ride past it 3 times a day depressed, and pissed off.
Feminism to me is more about controlling society whereas I support the rights of individuals to do whatever the fuck they want as long as everything happens between consenting adults, and not have to feel berated for doing things that are naturally masculine and generally feminine because it “hurts equality”.
My eyes were open to the trials men face day to day while I was studying feminism.
I was looking for answers why my life sucks so much.
There’s no real way to prove that feminism is specifically doing anything negative. I think the route of logic needs to flow like: 60% of college grads are women yet still be preferential treatment like they’re a minority. Men still enter more dangerous jobs that require less college. Men still make up more homeless, making it difficult for them to end the cycle of poverty.
Personally I can’t support feminism exactly because of their idea that being a man instead of a woman automatically and uniformly gives you an advantage, but I’m against this idea not because I think it’s sexist but because I think it’s wrong. I think that reality is much more nuanced, and that a man’s going to get an advantage if he’s trying to get taken seriously in the business world, for example, but a woman’s going to get an advantage if she’s down in life and needs help or support from social programs or even other people.
You are effected from day one. K-12 predominantly female teachers promoting feminist views and you aren’t effected? Bushwa